Monday, October 31, 2005

Yay! The company is starting a new incentive program “Blue to the Max” for which I am not eligible! Awesome!

Apparently it was a casual day, and I missed out. Also, Janine and I both came out of our rooms this morning wearing the exact same out fit: gray slacks, white button down, red sweater -> I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Personal statements are hard. Per Kristen’s advice, don’t buy breakfast food at gas stations.

The woman who works in Marketing Communications who I think looks like Portia de Rossi is wearing biker gear for the Halloween Costume Contest today. Biker gear. Leather jacket, short black skirt, boots, fishnets, and helmet. The day just got a little brighter.

It just dropped 10 degrees in here. It’s 55 degrees outside and I am inside wearing slacks and a sweater and I cannot get warm. I have resorted to wearing my coat and my knit hat. It’s not professional, but it’s warm. After doing some brief research, I have established that there is no OSHA guidelines for office temperatures. Damn.

Shivering at my desk.

I am so ready for this day to be over. I was extremely productive in writing my personal statement, and now I have a passable 2nd draft. In other news, it’s still ridiculously cold in here and I’m hungry. Ohh! I just found M&Ms in my bag.

My coworkers just claimed that I was a leafy green vegetable eater that will not eat anything with eyes. How wrong they are. Don’t worry, I informed them that I am very much a meat and potatoes kind of girl.

Tontie is the best game ever.
  • Tontie
  • Friday, October 28, 2005

    There is almost nothing worse than not only working a corporate job, but having dreams about your corporate jobs. Not good dreams, or nightmares, just a run of the mill day at work while you’re sleeping. Work during the day, and work during the night. No rest for the weary.

  • Signs You’re Stuck in a Dead End Job

  • 10:39am
    When I ask you if you have a fax number/email address etc. you’re response should not be “yes” followed by silence. I could care less if you have one or not, but if you have one, you should tell me what it is. The second question “and what is it?” is implied in the first.

    Again with the scary laughing.

    Fridays drag and drag because everyone who would call either comes in late for work or cuts out early, or takes a long lunch, or doesn’t feel like making calls to customer support.

    After a particularly strange noise, my coworker commented that there must be little cyborgs in the ventilation system . . . coming to kill us. Tell me that the corporate world doesn’t make you just a little bit crazy.

    Coworker James just suggested deliberately fucking with people’s accounts so that we get more calls today. Six calls so far today.

    Not only did Greg step out for two lunches today, he also takes frequent and lengthy smoke breaks. If I took as many breaks as he did, I could come in 2 hours later than I usually do. Now, I don’t mind if you leave, and I don’t mind if you lie on your timecard – as long as it doesn’t affect my workload. However, he has left early two days this week, when we were the only ones on the phone, making my workload more. Not cool.

    Only one email today. My email buddy is on her way to Bloomington, thus, no emailing back and forth today. This lack of email further contributes to the day dragging by. I currently have logged ten calls.

    It’s so cold in here that I not only wear gloves, but have also resorted to wearing a knit hat. Julia has a similar problem in her cube and has dubbed it Ice-Cube.

    Three calls from the same dude. And I’m not even the person he really should have been talking to. Where do these people get our number?

    Only 34 minutes remain in this week. God help us all.

    Thursday, October 27, 2005

    There’s nothing like learning that your team leader agrees with your fears that one of your co-workers has the capacity to go postal on all of us. Oh wait, there is one thing better, your team leader telling you that you will probably be the first to die because you share a cube with the crazy man and he resents that he’s the only full-timer that shares a cube.

    My boss and her deputy are both not in today. This is a little preview of what it will be like when they are both gone for good. The temps are in an extremely good position right now, and may threaten to quit if we don’t get more money.

    There is someone with a very strange laugh in some cube near mine. Also, today I discussed an $86k account, and last week I discussed a $500k account. They don’t pay me enough to have this kind of responsibility. The temp revolt remains in the planning stages.

    People need to email me more. I get so lonely and bored. Email dammit!

    The pace has picked up a little today, I’ve had 15 calls already, but I’m still hopelessly bored. And I was just informed by my fellow temp co-worker that stays until six, that he would be leaving around 3:30 (that’s 1.5 hours early) to go to a job interview – clearly he doesn’t see the potential of our combined strikage at a crucial moment. On the other hand for every temp that quits, it makes my position stronger. Now, given the option to come in at 8 and leave at 6, would I do it? It would mean, an extra $400 a month, but I would probably have to kill myself. I think I’ll stick with my plan of making them pay me more money for the same amount of time OR vastly more money for more time.

    Heads up seven up! Law school is expensive!

    Have I mentioned that my office is inside of a warehouse? There are no windows or any indication of what is going on in the outside world. You cannot catch a glimpse of the sky; you cannot even enjoy natural light. Furthermore, it is unnaturally cold and somewhat dim. Certainly not ideal working conditions.

    I don’t care if Visa can do it and we can’t! I’m not paid enough to care!

    Busy day today, 35+ calls; maybe things are starting to speed up here. Or maybe there are just fewer people on the phones; and maybe there will be fewer still. My coworker left earlier in order to go to a job interview. However, he was not exactly dressed in professional attire, I think he barely made it to business casual. I mean really boys, how hard is it? Slacks without holes or ragged edges, no cargo pockets, and a button down shirt. Hell, that's what I wear, except I wear a sweater over my button down or a jacket because it's fucking cold. C'mon boys, it's not rocket science. And then to step up to business attire, all you have to do is strap on a tie, but I'm still quasi requiered to wear a skirt or dress? Bitch, please.

    Wednesday, October 26, 2005

    Ok, let’s recap the whole office situation. My boss (hereafter, boss) resigned, effective two weeks from this past Monday. The only person (hereafter, deputy boss) who is qualified to replace her also resigned, effective Monday. Now, deputy boss is in negotiations for boss’s job and is playing hardball with management because we are in the middle of peak season, the phones are going to ring off the hook and we have no leadership and a poverty of knowledge on a variety of subjects. There are three other full-timers in the office that could potentially take boss’s place. However, two have not met the time with the company requirements and the other has been here long enough, but is in outer space most of the time. Back to deputy boss; if she were to get the job, she told me that she would see to it that the temps (re: me) would have a job for a long time to come. If that happens, maybe I could negotiate with her, cut my temp agency out and start making what they actually pay here – I think around $20/hour, at least $18. Another 7 months and $18/hour = almost $10,000 banked for me. Even if I couldn’t cut out the temp agency, that’s still $7000 in the bank. Yes, please. But for now, I have to sit back and wait.

    Budweiser select is not that much better than Bud Light. But I would take either one right now.

    1. I know I was bitching about Greg the other day – he was the one I was contemplating killing – but today he was a lifesaver, brought me McDonald’s and everything when all I had to eat was Easy Mac. Fantastic
    2. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but my wardrobe has gone all corporate. Well, sort of. For instance, today I’m wearing a nice pair of slacks (pants become slacks in the corporate world), a white button down and a sweater over it. Nice. Corporate. I think that I need this sweater in every color because it is one of my warmest outfits, and as you have gathered it is very cold in my office. Running tights under my slacks cold.

    Lets talk about the fucked up phone system here. If there is not a person available to speak with a caller immediately, the caller gets put in the queue. When there are calls in queue, a light on our phone labeled “Q-calls” starts flashing. This is to let us know that we cannot take a break, and we should speed up our calls. However, when we (the temps) have calls in queue, our light does not start to flash. This leads to some problems. We don’t know when we can take a break because when we are done with one call, our phone just starts ringing again. Also, like yesterday when I was merrily talking away on an outside line to one of my friends, calls were in queue and I had no idea. So I get off the phone and for the next 30 minutes have to speak with 6 or so irate callers who have been in queue for god knows how long. Yeah. Management should look into fixing that.

    Everyone in my 8-cube team space is wearing their winter coats. Let’s compare, my apartment no heat and it was 38 degrees last night. Was I warm enough, yes. My cube, in a heated building, 58 degrees outside. Am I warm enough, no. What’s wrong with this picture?
    Oh, and today, I’ve had 8 calls in 5 hours.

    I’ve taken to drawing large smiley faces in my notepad to describe, visually, my various moods. I have a frowny face, a smiley face, a face with a tongue sticking out and a drunk/knocked out face. I use that one most often.

    14 calls today. 14.

    I read an entire book today.

    Tuesday, October 25, 2005

    I need to figure out how I can make this office drama into an extension of my current assignment. If they’re shorthanded a full timer, it would make sense for them to keep one or more of the temps later on to pick up the slack. That temp should be me.

    Damn. I just finished the only book that I brought to read today. I don’t know what I’ll do for the next 8 hours.

    The intelligence of people never ceases to amaze me. A customer calls the service number, it informs them to press “1” for existing accounts or “2” to set up a new account or for more information on our product line. “1” goes to the full-timers because they have access to the accounts, “2” goes to temps because we can set up accounts and answer general questions. I cannot tell you how many people I get that ask me to look up something in their account. Dial “1” for existing accounts!

    I’m so bored I can’t even think straight. Of course, it’s really not surprising that I can’t think straight; I’ve never been able to do so before. I’ve resorted to

    I’m actually starting to memorize the various numbers that we transfer people to. Gah!

    My boss is my hero. We got our $75 Rewards cards today! For a total of $100 in incentives. Yay!

    Now resorting to, all pretense of doing anything is suspended.

    Don’t be rude or get an attitude with me. I want to help you. I’m paid to help you. But if you get snarky with me, I will transfer you into outer space.

    I want to die. <--shamelessly playing online games.

    Monday, October 24, 2005

    I’ve been here 34 minutes, and taken 12 calls – I couldn’t help any of them, they all had a weird code attached to them and the people wanted things that I had no idea how to help. My boss has the techies on it now, and they think that the phone lines are crossed or something. Meanwhile, I’m off the phones for now.

    Let’s talk about dogs with clothes. I don’t know who came up with this idea. I was driving to work this morning and passed a woman walking her dog in the park. The dog was wearing a poncho-like blanket … now, is it just me, or do dogs already have protection from the cold. I mean, they have fur, right?

    The memory that is going to get me through this day is that of five girls, naked as the day they were born, sitting in a cabin in the middle of nowhere Illinois, drinking beer and playing cards. Camping with Katie? I most heartily approve.

    After the whole switched phone line debacle, I’ve had one call in the last 1 hour and 21 minutes. Slow day much? I need my lunch!

    “Thanks for your help, you’ve been a doll” (?!)

    Here’s another recipe for Rachel Ray, I call it:

    Chick ‘n Squares

    Defrost chicken
    Cut into bits
    Simmer in buffalo sauce
    Put Triscuits on a plate
    Cover with shredded cheese
    Top with chicken
    Serve with plenty of sour cream, ranch dressing, and buffalo sauce

    Ok, so, our team leader and department head just quit, effective Monday and in two weeks, respectively. What the hell happens to us?

    Fucking cold. Maybe with two people newly gone, I can have their space heaters?

    Mondays suck.

    Eleven calls (barring those screwed up 12) in almost 7 hours, slow, slow day. I haven’t seen my boss all day, I’m sure she’s having to explain why she’s leaving the company she’s been at for 7 years, the department she created and ran, and why, she’s doing it in the middle of peak- leaving us running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The remaining senior people in the department have 6 months experience and less. Fantastic.

    I check my email so often during the day, I can almost have AIM-like conversations with my brethren that also check their email constantly.

    Only 20 calls in around 8 hours. Bleh. At least Monday is almost over.

    Friday, October 21, 2005

    I hate parking in the second overflow parking lot, only to discover while walking to the office that there was a spot open in the lot closest to the office.

    I love receiving incentives from my employer - $25 claimed, $75 to go. New shoes!

    As per Ariela’s request, three ceiling tiles have been named:

    1. Penelope -- in honor of our own Penelope. It was her birthday last week, and she DEFINITELY deserves a tile. Plus, it's a cool name.
    2. Kah El -- Superman's krypton name? Hells yeah.
    3. Fanny -- after a woman's ample butt, or the pack.

    There’s something about this office that makes me have to pee.

    I have to wear gloves at my desk. Gloves.

    You would think that my office would pick up on the fact that I’m gayer than a rainbow flag on a float at a pride parade. But no, yesterday I was asked if I would ever marry a man if he only made $30k/year, (this from the woman who I discussed my recent letter to the Chancellor in response to the Katz controversy) and later that day, I was told by a different coworker, that another male coworker would be good for me. This conclusion drawn from the data that he is a chivalrous guy and I am a woman. Now, honestly, the last thing that would make me date a guy would be the fact that he was chivalrous. I mean Dan the IT guy is nice and all, but I suspect that he lacks certain qualities that I enjoy.

    For better or worse, I’m busting out my book to read. It’s not like they can really fire us, not when all of their temps quit last year at peak, and they were left in a spot of bother (“spot of bother” is for Jessica, she loves when I use archaic phrases.) So, all their temps quit last year, and from what I hear they were worthless anyway. Are they really going to fire/discipline the girl that’s got the highest scores on their little exams, even against full-timers? No. I didn’t think so.

    I just took a call from a guy from Harrah’s Casinos that wanted to purchase half a million dollar of our product – I quickly forwarded him on to one of our Account Execs – if she lands the deal, and the company collects that much in business plus fees, everyone that works here shares in that new wealth through the company’s generous bonus plan. Unfortunately, that plan does not apply to temps.

    Even with the book, I’m still bored. However the temperature today is at least bearable, even though it’s the coolest it’s been this month.

    I now know how to do, and have done every thing that will ever be required of me in my job.

    Still shamelessly reading the book. Total calls today: 28, so we are slowly but surely getting busier. Adventures in Cubeland will resume Monday.

    Thursday, October 20, 2005

    So I’ve been informed today that in addition to being cheaper, Red Thunder is an inferior product than Red Bull. It uses high fructose corn syrup and will make you “tubby.” But for someone who works out, and lives on a budget, $20 cheaper (by the case) energy drink sounds pretty attractive. However, even though it tastes similar to Red Bull, it lacks Red Bull’s characteristic bite and aroma. On the other hand, it’s $20 more expensive – a true dilemma

    1 hour and 58 minutes. 12 calls, busier than yesterday. Hungry for lunch again, but all I have is two pieces of pizza that were left out all night last night. No glorious peanut butter and chocolate sandwich today. Also, I failed to go running this morning. But it was raining, and my shoes are held together with duct tape and are thus not particularly waterproof. I can stand being wet, but I can’t abide having wet feet. Hopefully there won’t be rain tomorrow, because while it felt good to sleep that extra hour, I feel more tired now than I have all week.

    6 hours and 25 minutes remain

    What if I got a tattoo? Somewhere that was only visible for about 4 months of the year, quasi discreet and personally meaningful? Not to mention, I’ve been told it would look hot? But do I want to have something forever?

    I have been thwarted by the internet in my attempt to track down an address. Usually the internet is my greatest friend in my search to find information. And I thought that once again it had saved me when I used google maps to locate a street name, reverse addressed the street to find everyone who lived on that street – only to have the name I was looking for, not appear.

    again with the laughing.

    This is quite possibly the slowest day ever. And I didn’t even bring my Red Thunder. 4 hours and 11 minutes remain.

    I might actually have to wear gloves at work. My hands are like ice. Memo to companies, don’t make office space out of warehouses. You can’t heat them. I’m seriously considering lighting a fire in my trashcan to warm my hands at, or maybe I should just rest them on my computer which is probably overheating.

    Check out – really cool music mapping tools that uses data from Amazon to graphically show the links between bands or movies.

    I have exhausted everything on the internet, please comment on some good websites to look at, for now, I have returned to staring at my cube wall.

    Five o'clock to six is the longest hour of the day.

    Wednesday, October 19, 2005

    To buy or not to buy $150+ baseball tickets?

    My boss is quizzing us on materials that we are supposed to know and passing out PowerBall tickets to those who get the question correct. PowerBall, by the way, is up to $340 million. I've already secured an apartment full of Red Bull and vodka if my coworker wins and I've assured her I will buy her a top-notch washer and dryer if I win. I think the Red Bull's going to cost her more at $50 a case, though she informs me, you can get it at $38 a case at Sams.

    4 hours and 53 minutes remain
    I did have a really excellent peanut butter sandwich with chocolate shavings - the only thing that could have made it better would be a layer of marshmallow cream.

    So, without getting into specifics, my company sells two types of products with a variety of products within those two types. My department sets up accounts so that the company can order online through our online ordering tool. You have to have a separate account for the two types of products. This all makes perfect sense to me. But here's where it gets tricky, you have to have a separate account for each product, even within the type! So everytime you want to order a different product, you have to go through the entire process again, including risk assessment! Does this make sense to anyone? NO? I didn't think so.

    4 hours and 16 minutes remain.
    12 calls in 4 hours and 15 minutes, real busy day

    What? No one wants to name a ceiling tile?

    Not only do you have to have a different account for each product, you have to have a separate account for each variation of a particular product?!

    I'm glad I'm putting my very expensive education to good use. I haven't felt a brain cell fire here in a week.

    I have never wished so badly for email in my life.

    Let's just reflect on the fact that I've voluntarily gotten out of bed at 6:45am for the past 3 days to work out.

    Now let's reflect on the recent NY Times article about Rachel Ray. I do not find her sexy - "Her sexy but nonthreatening style appealed to Food Network executives who were shifting away from celebrity chefs to home cooks," even if she did pose for FHM. Yep, two years ago, rumor confirmed. You can find the uniquely disturbing pictures by googling Rachel Ray and FHM. Furthermore, it is not that hard to create tasty, cheap 30 minute meals. Here are two, that I just made up. I call them chick and tots, and chick and chips. Enjoy.

    Chick and Tots
    Defrost chicken tenderloins in microwave (1 minute)
    toss in pan with buffalo sauce, cover with lid
    simmer until cooked through
    defrost tator tots in microwave (2 minutes)
    toss on cookies sheet
    throw in oven at 450
    remove when crisp
    serve tots and chick with plenty of sour cream, more buffalo sauce, and ranch dressing.

    Chick and Chips
    Defrost chicken
    slice into bits
    simmer in buffalo sauce until cooked through
    put tortilla chips on a plate, top with grated cheese
    top with cooked chicken
    serve with plenty of sour cream, buffalo sauce and ranch dressing
    if you need more protein, add bacon.

    and here's another recipe, just because i feel generous:

    Tots Supreme
    defrost tots
    tots in oven
    tots out of oven
    top with a can of processed cheese warmed to pourable consistency in microwave
    fry some bacon, cut into bits
    top chessy tots with bacon, add sour cream
    serve with beer

    Tuesday, October 18, 2005

    Day started off going well, got up to run, had real breakfast, it's a denim day, and then it was all down hill - had to take a detour because there was a fire on the access road to the highway, spilled my briefcase everywhere, left my water bottle in my car and forgot my Red Thunder. rough day.

    Another day, another dollar. And by "dollar", I mean $120 less taxes. And by "taxes," I mean 23%. And by "less," I mean ouch ouch ouch

    Current Shit List:
    1. lights that are yellow just long enough that you could make it, maybe, but you stop because you think that it will probably turn red and that you are unlucky enough that there would be cops around to see you do it.
    2. cyclists that do not obey traffic laws. yes, you need to stop at stop signs, if you pull out in front of me, because i had the right of way and you had a stop sign, I will hit you, and I won't feel bad.

    I've been here less than an hour and I've had four phone calls already, maybe today = less boring?

    10 calls. Catching up on political commentary. Still haven't finished my personal statement . . . I do have 4 really excellent starts though . . .

    5 hours and 55 minutes - I want lunch!

    4 hours and 46 minutes remain
    calls fielded: 14
    breakdown = ~3 calls/hour

    Sometimes my coworker and cubical mate laughs maniacly for no apparent reason. I think one day he might kill us all.

    Laughing again . . . scary . . .

    again with the laughing . . .

    Someone in the cubical near me keeps playing the same Celine Dion cd . . . day after day after day - just loud enough that I can make out the words if I listen very closely, just loud enough to grate at the fringes of my consiousness.

    My employers still owe me $100+ in incentives and rewards, for being an incentives company, they're pretty bad about getting rewards to me. I need that money to buy some tennis shoes, the last time I bought tennis shoes was in high school. Mine are currently duct taped. Yes, I go running with duct taped shoes. Laugh, just laugh.
    5 hours and 36 minutes
    calls fielded = 19
    breakdown = ~4 calls/hour

    I've secured a Red Thunder! And, I apparently scored higher than anyone else in my department on a products/policies/procedures quiz we took last week. Go me.

    Monday, October 17, 2005

    Well they must have fixed the phones because I've taken five calls so far - and I think that I only answered one of them incorrectly. Seven hours and forty minutes to go. It's not terrible, the people have been nice so far, and I talked to a lovely British woman. However, the boredom is starting to set in, and there's not even a boring lecture to look forward to.

    Two and a half hours - eight calls - and another handwritten letter! I know you all hope that you get one!

    Two hours and 55 minutes -- grr, grr. I want to go to lunch and bossman made personal pizzas!

    It's soo cold in my office that my fingers are blue and I'm shivering.

    I have only a short 15 minute break to look forward to in the next four hours.

    I've been here five hours and fielded 15 calls. 15. That's 3 an hour. Three, one-minute conversations an hour. 15 minutes of talking in five hours. Sometimes I think a monkey could do my job.

    Minute by minute countdown. To clarify, thats when I write down the time in five minute incriments and x them off as we reach that time. I have three different ways to diagram this process.

    I'd like to announce that three of the 1010 ceiling tiles have been named:
    Ethan, Luke, Maria Belen - compliments of Jessica
    If you would like to name a ceiling tile, you can email me at

    I have four paper plates, three napkins, a plastic bottle, a can, various office supplies and a pair of silverware sitting here at my desk. I was contemplating constructing some sort of robot and setting it loose to wreak havoc in cubical land.

    Robot project is bust - instead of wreaking havoc, it is now occupied with the numerous food tables that are interspersed throughout cubical land... Three hours remain.

    We have plenty of highlighters and sharpie pens - I think we should paint ourselves in tribal colors and storm the office next door. Hoo-rah!

    One hour and forty-eight minutes.
    calls fielded = 18
    breakdown - 2 calls/hour

    I am now up to date on all the latest news and headlines, thats CNN, FARK, GOOGLE NEWS, and REALCLEARPOLITICS - is this day over yet?

    Friday, October 14, 2005

    Two hours and 54 minutes until the weekend! All that's between me and the weekend is a quiz, a break, and 2 hours and 54 minutes.

    They can't seem to make the phones for our queue work- we go live on Monday - haha!

    Twelve more minutes, and they're still testing the phones.

    Thursday, October 13, 2005

    My boss decided she wouldn't be in until 9am today. I wish I could just decide that, except I would decide not to come in at all.

    Bossman decided she was too hungover to work today, she left us to our own devices.

    Nothing to do, nothing to do

    I wrote a letter, yes, another one. Otherwise, I've done nothing in the past six hours.

    I think I just have to sit here for the next hour and 47 minutes. Please kill me now. Boredom is hell - I used to be good at this.

    I think I just saw the matrix on my computer screen.

    I'm going to count the ceiling tiles.

    1010 tiles

    Wednesday, October 12, 2005

    Sitting around doing nothing but looking corporate. Go me in a hot hot power suit.

    Tuesday, October 11, 2005

    My boss informs us that she's going to be around "sporadically" today, which translates into "you're going to stare at your cube wall alot today."

    I just spent 10 minutes drawing lists and diagrams in order to keep track of the slow, but thankfully, inevitable passage of time.

    Well, at least I'm being personally productive. I've now completed two handwritten letters to two friends that I haven't spoken to in awhile. Go me.

    Today has been pretty busy, they're keeping us at doing test scenarios and there was a book sale and free food. Again? Yes. Again.

    I've just discovered that the CEO of my company graduated WashU with a BA in Psych. HAHA, what are the odds? Completed EMBA work -- B-School Pre School for Execs.

    Monday, October 10, 2005

    Oh god Monday! Oh god Monday! I've been here 30 minutes and done nothing but update my to do lists and note the important details of a particularly vivid dream that I had last night. Oh, and I drank a red bull and ate my Luna bar. What a good start to another week of torment and boredom.

    Ooooh - parking permit. Now I am part of Corporate America.

    I love being read to as a form of training, because I didn't learn to read in first grade, or any of the 15 years of schooling after that.

    Wow! An hour and a half later they read us the exact same thing that they read to us earlier.

    Staring at the wall again. Emailing my coworker who is across the cube common space and contemplating the weave of the cloth on my cube wall, and the color of blue on my nameplate.

    I could make paper airplanes and fly them over my cube wall.

    Now, I'm contemplating killing my male coworker.

    My boss just referenced the Magic Bullet, the product she meant was the the Thunder Stick. The Thunder Stick is a handheld blender. The Magic Bullet is a vibrator.

    "Girls with toys don't need boys."

    Friday, October 07, 2005

    My trainer isn't here today, not sure how I'm going to train without a trainer. I think it will be another long day staring at my cube wall.

    With my boss gone, everyone is a little more laid back and there was free breakfast to go along with free potluck lunch . . . which looks soo good. No word on our bonuses yet, now totaling $100.

    I think I've mastered the fine art of "studying" my materials while I sleep at my desk.

    It's Friday. I should be happy. But the thought of listening to calls all day - the next 6 hours, kind of makes me want to die. Alot.

    Did I mention that I have a nameplate. With my name on it. It hangs on my cube wall.

    Three more hours until I get off and no scheduled activities. Three more hours of sitting and staring. Shoot me now. I wrote that 50 times on a piece of paper. I can almost guarantee at least two more trips to the restroom, one short nap, a daydream, and a minute by minute countdown until I get off work.

    I have now read every piece of corporate literature that exists on the company website. I just took a bathroom break, and now I'm staring at the wall, again. It would be ok if there were four walls . . . but no. I share a cube in a team of eight. And it's open for all to see what I'm doing. So much for staring at the internet, and checking out the latest T.A.T.U. song lyrics. Did I mention that I had read the rules and regulations surrounding the viewing and use of the company website . . . oh and the employee handbook and benefits package . . . for which I am not eligible.

    Thursday, October 06, 2005

    Mmm fun, formal new hire training all day, and I'm not even formally a new hire. Oh Red Thunder in my belly. Burn, baby, burn.

    Training was supposed to pick up 30 minutes ago, but all the real new hires went to lunch with the CEO and they aren't back yet. I ate peanut butter. Hmph.

    We just watched a training video from the 50s, the feminist in me is screaming to be let out of the kitchen.

    Wednesday, October 05, 2005

    I've been here an hour today and have done nothing yet, but I did just hear someone say something about TPS reports. I am in hell. I just wish to god that I had my own cube and that I didn't want to keep my job quite so much -- damn them and their $15 an hour! Damn you corporate world!

    Two hours and I've done nothing, oh wait, I went to the bathroom . . . twice.

    Three and a half hours, I have now taken a quiz. I'm sitting back in my cube now, staring at the wall. Also, we discovered that something very sketchy is going on with our $75 bonus.

    The monotony was broken up by quickly composing an email to Jessica, writing a letter to my landlord, and partaking of an unexpected ice cream sundae bar. However, as of right now, I'm staring at the wall again.