Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Recap on this weekend:

Saturday night we went to the Dresden Dolls - it was fantastic (even though we missed the first game of the World Series). We were at the concert for like four hours - fortunately, we had also scored a table in the bar area, so were were sitting in comfort for the entirety of that time. When we go there, there was an elvis clown on stage for like two seconds, don't ask me too much about the clown because he was almost immediately off stage. Then there was this crazy musician who was using all kinds of non-traditional musical instruments (ie. industrial flute, coin in glass bowl, bells). Anyway, bizarre objects - really cool music (a little scary too). Then, the Red Paintings came on stage - I liked them, except when the singer, sang. Otherwise, all was well - two guitars, a violin, and drums. Additionally, the women were dressed as geishas, the lead guitar had a strange overcoat and there were four other woman on stage - two were almost naked and the other two were painting the semi-naked two. Also, a robot. In the end, the lead guitar was acting like an idiot (as guitarist are prone to do) by rolling around on the stage, anyway, he rolled himself right off the stage and his head. He was taken off and later we found out that he was ok, and he played a song with the dresden dolls, just to prove it. It was tragic, but kind of really funny. After the Red Paintings, Gravity Plays Favorites - otherwise known as that lesbian duo that does burlesque pole dancing and acrobatics. They were amazing. They held their bodies perpendicular from the pole 4-5 feet off the ground. Amazing. And then the Dresden Dolls.

Everything that Ani wasn't, the Dresden Dolls was. They were high energy, knew their stuff, played for a solid two hours, kept it interesting, took requests, played all the songs I wanted to hear and generally played a really great concert. I'm definitely going to try and catch them again the next time that they are in town.

Sunday - we left at 1:30pm for Nashville to see Broken Social Scene (BSS). We arrived at the venue at about 5:55pm and proceeded to sit in the car (right outside the door) until 7pm when they opened the doors. Because we were one of the first people in, we got a spot in the very front row - I could reach out and touch the stage. They were, by far, the best seats I have ever had for a concert. Do Make Say Think played, and they were good and quite loud. Then BSS got up there and they were good (again loud) - they lose points only for a bizarre encore song with lyrics, I kid you not "When I leave heaven I bring my gun, it's ok, it's right to love." Yeah. and also for this little ploy - *opening notes to a song where emily haines features heavily* "and now taking time off of her solo tour (emily haines is on a solo tour) here's not-emily-haines" Instead it was a singer, who also took time off her solo tour, but does not generally do the vocals for this song and who had already been on stage doing other vocal work - In other words, there was no need for an introduction and it was just a dirty trick to make us think that the girls (haines and feist) were there. And neither of them were, which was extremely disappointing.

So we drove back, staring at about 11:30 and didn't get home until around 4:30am when all was said and done. which made for very sleepy jennifers who had to get up at 6am. Yesterday, my bed never felt so good. And now I have (somewhat) caught up on my sleep - just in time to lose some more of it

Tonight, Jen and I have tickets to the World Series Game 3! And it should be damn cold. Fortunately for us, we have standing room only tickets - which means that we will have the opportunity to stamp our feet to stay warm. And the cards better win.

Also, this weekend we will be in Philadelphia- sadly we will miss Lauren and Janine's party and will have to schedule yet another time to see their new apartment. Happily, we may catch the Dresden Dolls again in Philly - in addition to seeing danno and ariela and the great city of new york!

I have taken multiple pictures of captain smiley and I will have them up as soon as I can get them off of my phone.

This morning I was listening to NPR (that's national public radio, bob) and I heard the news guy say something along the lines of bush has said recently that they were going to change the policy of "stay the course"... I yelled and screamed at the radio and ultimately called dan to bitch and moan about it. why the hysterics, you might ask. Because bush didn't say he was changing policy - Bush said, in an interview, on tape that he never said that he was "stay the course." I know it probably sent you into fits too ...because bush has said multiple times, on tape that his administration, this country, he would "stay the course." and no one in the media seems to be challenging this. how much easier does it get? it's not a partisan thing, it's not political. he's lying or he's just plain stupid, so which is it, and why is no one saying anything? aHHHHHHHHHH!!! here's a nice video of the interview and about 20 instances of him saying "stay the course" also, even if they are changing the words that they use, nothing has changed policy-wise. one general is even calling for more troops....

Keith had another scorcher last night. check it out. it's about the latest rnc ad that uses terror to get people to vote republican - i think that is a textbook definition of terrorism. let's waterboard bush and find out.

Ok, the Dresden Dolls just got even more cool. They are a part of Music for America which partners artists with volunteers to work together to motivate young adults to get excited about politics and vote. MFA gets free tickets for volunteers that work for the event and the artists get to be part of a political movement that is going to change the country. Here's a list of participating artists: lots of great artists are helping at - lots of indie artists like sleater kinnie, rilo kiley and le tigre, but also big names like barenaked ladies, tori amos, and usher. more than 340 artists! From the website:

"Music for America stands for the belief that our generation is smart enough, and capable enough, and big enough to be the dominant force in American politics. But we have been ignored by politicians and disgusted by politics to the point where many of us just stay away.

When we reach one of our peers on a personal, sincere level, and show her how she can actually do something about it, we're doing what we do best—providing the gateway drug that will hook our generation on creating a better America."

very, very cool.

2:50p - another cool site, with an equally cool book coming out.

Cariss updated! seems she got some more of that which she holds most dear. hopefully this means that she will be updating more often.

Is "denomination" a big word? "what's the denomination on that?" "what do you mean?" ?!

Did I mention that Joe was fired? We have two new temps, but neither of them are on the phone yet - which means that once again, we are shorthanded. I would like to go home now. 1hr 5min to go. 63 interactions. My boss started releasing our caller data - so we can all see just how bad teh space cadet she the next to be fired? not likely in the middle of peak - but if she was, i could definitely stay....

My hands are cold. I don't want to turn on the space heater for fear of blacking out the row of cubes again - I need thin gloves again, so that my hands can be warm and my typing stays legible.

Friday, October 20, 2006

See casual days are nice on Thursday because I can crawl out of bed and put whatever on. They are bad, however, because friday is a casual day, so it feels like friday, except I have to come back to work tomorrow....also it was cold this morning and I forgot my gloves.

I have more stupid training today at 10a. I can't wait, the only solace is that it is in the computer lab, and computers in there have java and flash so i can play online games.

Keith Olbermann tore it up again last night. I'll have the transcript later today. I'm so glad that he says the things that we're all thinking, but I'm sad that no one else will stand up and say them. I'm sad that he's on cable so lots of people don't hear the things that they need to hear - because Bush is ruining our country and people are starting to wake up, but there are many, many who still think that he's protecting us- and he's not. He's done what the terrorist could never do, destroy our democracy - I'm waiting for the day that democratic senators are found to be "offering material support" to terrorists. then they'll be shipped off to ... somewhere ...and will stop offering pesky challenges to their congressmen.

That meeting was as pointless as I thought it was going to be.

I'm hungry and I am sad that Jen is not coming for lunch today - also I did not take the time to make a sandwich so all I have is stupid easy mac. yum yum. I would like to go home now, and in case you were wondering it's pretty cold in here too. And my heater is still a broke ass piece of shit.

Well, we just lost power here in our cube row. Seems that there were too many space heaters plugged into the same circuit. Why are there so many space heaters? Because the company practically issues them to employees because they literally can not keep the building warm enough. But lucky me, I have power again, which means my computer is humming along and my space heater (which started working again) is also humming along, probably contributing to a power outage later on...

Juicy info. Carl told me that the old bossman, you may remember Beth - the boss that quit literally two weeks after the temps arrived last year - anyway Beth had the wall between her and the space cadet taken down so that she could keep an eye on her. Apparently beth was always on her ass about not being on the phone, but Beths gone now, and no one seems to yell at her for never ever being at her desk taking calls.

Jen just brought me roses and chocolate and a giant plush penguin - from the yet to be released Happy Feet...I adore her.

Here it is, but you should really check out the video:
And lastly, as promised, a Special Comment tonight on the signing of the Military Commissions Act and the loss of Habeas Corpus.

We have lived as if in a trance. We have lived… as people in fear.

And now — our rights and our freedoms in peril — we slowly awake to learn that we have been afraid… of the wrong thing.

Therefore, tonight, have we truly become, the inheritors of our American legacy. For, on this first full day that the Military Commissions Act is in force, we now face what our ancestors faced, at other times of exaggerated crisis and melodramatic fear-mongering:

A government more dangerous to our liberty, than is the enemy it claims to protect us from.
We have been here before — and we have been here before led here — by men better and wiser and nobler than George W. Bush.

We have been here when President John Adams insisted that the Alien and Sedition Acts were necessary to save American lives — only to watch him use those Acts to jail newspaper editors.

American newspaper editors, in American jails, for things they wrote, about America.

We have been here, when President Woodrow Wilson insisted that the Espionage Act was necessary to save American lives — only to watch him use that Act to prosecute 2,000 Americans, especially those he disparaged as "Hyphenated Americans," most of whom were guilty only of advocating peace in a time of war.

American public speakers, in American jails, for things they said, about America.

And we have been here when President Franklin D. Roosevelt insisted that Executive Order 9-0-6-6 was necessary to save American lives — only to watch him use that Order to imprison and pauperize 110-thousand Americans…

While his man-in-charge…

General DeWitt, told Congress: "It makes no difference whether he is an American citizen — he is still a Japanese."

American citizens, in American camps, for something they neither wrote nor said nor did — but for the choices they or their ancestors had made, about coming to America.

Each of these actions was undertaken for the most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And each, was a betrayal of that for which the President who advocated them, claimed to be fighting.

Adams and his party were swept from office, and the Alien and Sedition Acts erased.
Many of the very people Wilson silenced, survived him, and…

…one of them even ran to succeed him, and got 900-thousand votes… though his Presidential campaign was conducted entirely… from his jail cell.

And Roosevelt's internment of the Japanese was not merely the worst blight on his record, but it would necessitate a formal apology from the government of the United States, to the citizens of the United States, whose lives it ruined.

The most vital… the most urgent… the most inescapable of reasons.

In times of fright, we have been, only human.

We have let Roosevelt's "fear of fear itself" overtake us.

We have listened to the little voice inside that has said "the wolf is at the door; this will be temporary; this will be precise; this too shall pass."

We have accepted, that the only way to stop the terrorists, is to let the government become just a little bit like the terrorists.

Just the way we once accepted that the only way to stop the Soviets, was to let the government become just a little bit like the Soviets.

Or substitute… the Japanese.
Or the Germans.
Or the Socialists.
Or the Anarchists.
Or the Immigrants.
Or the British.
Or the Aliens.

The most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And, always, always… wrong.

"With the distance of history, the questions will be narrowed and few: Did this generation of Americans take the threat seriously, and did we do what it takes to defeat that threat?"

Wise words.

And ironic ones, Mr. Bush.

Your own, of course, yesterday, in signing the Military Commissions Act.

You spoke so much more than you know, Sir.

Sadly — of course — the distance of history will recognize that the threat this generation of Americans needed to take seriously… was you.

We have a long and painful history of ignoring the prophecy attributed to Benjamin Franklin that "those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety."

But even within this history, we have not before codified, the poisoning of Habeas Corpus, that wellspring of protection from which all essential liberties flow.

You, sir, have now befouled that spring.
You, sir, have now given us chaos and called it order.
You, sir, have now imposed subjugation and called it freedom.

For the most vital… the most urgent… the most inescapable of reasons.

And — again, Mr. Bush — all of them, wrong.

We have handed a blank check drawn against our freedom to a man who has said it is unacceptable to compare anything this country has ever done, to anything the terrorists have ever done.

We have handed a blank check drawn against our freedom to a man who has insisted again that "the United States does not torture. It's against our laws and it's against our values" and who has said it with a straight face while the pictures from Abu Ghraib Prison and the stories of Waterboarding figuratively fade in and out, around him.

We have handed a blank check drawn against our freedom to a man who may now, if he so decides, declare not merely any non-American citizens "Unlawful Enemy Combatants" and ship them somewhere — anywhere — but may now, if he so decides, declare you an "Unlawful Enemy Combatant" and ship you somewhere - anywhere.

And if you think this, hyperbole or hysteria… ask the newspaper editors when John Adams was President, or the pacifists when Woodrow Wilson was President, or the Japanese at Manzanar when Franklin Roosevelt was President.

And if you somehow think Habeas Corpus has not been suspended for American citizens but only for everybody else, ask yourself this: If you are pulled off the street tomorrow, and they call you an alien or an undocumented immigrant or an "unlawful enemy combatant" — exactly how are you going to convince them to give you a court hearing to prove you are not? Do you think this Attorney General is going to help you?

This President now has his blank check.

He lied to get it.
He lied as he received it.
Is there any reason to even hope, he has not lied about how he intends to use it, nor who he intends to use it against?

"These military commissions will provide a fair trial," you told us yesterday, Mr. Bush. "In which the accused are presumed innocent, have access to an attorney, and can hear all the evidence against them."

'Presumed innocent,' Mr. Bush?

The very piece of paper you signed as you said that, allows for the detainees to be abused up to the point just before they sustain "serious mental and physical trauma" in the hope of getting them to incriminate themselves, and may no longer even invoke The Geneva Conventions in their own defense.

'Access to an attorney,' Mr. Bush?

Lieutenant Commander Charles Swift said on this program, Sir, and to the Supreme Court, that he was only granted access to his detainee defendant, on the promise that the detainee would plead guilty.

'Hearing all the evidence,' Mr. Bush?

The Military Commissions act specifically permits the introduction of classified evidence not made available to the defense.

Your words are lies, Sir.
They are lies, that imperil us all.

"One of the terrorists believed to have planned the 9/11 attacks," …you told us yesterday… "said he hoped the attacks would be the beginning of the end of America."

That terrorist, sir, could only hope.

Not his actions, nor the actions of a ceaseless line of terrorists (real or imagined), could measure up to what you have wrought.

Habeas Corpus? Gone.
The Geneva Conventions? Optional.
The Moral Force we shined outwards to the world as an eternal beacon, and inwards at ourselves as an eternal protection? Snuffed out.

These things you have done, Mr. Bush… they would be "the beginning of the end of America."

And did it even occur to you once sir — somewhere in amidst those eight separate, gruesome, intentional, terroristic invocations of the horrors of 9/11 — that with only a little further shift in this world we now know — just a touch more repudiation of all of that for which our patriots died —

Did it ever occur to you once, that in just 27 months and two days from now when you leave office, some irresponsible future President and a "competent tribunal" of lackeys would be entitled, by the actions of your own hand, to declare the status of "Unlawful Enemy Combatant" for… and convene a Military Commission to try… not John Walker Lindh, but George Walker Bush?

For the most vital, the most urgent, the most inescapable of reasons.

And doubtless, sir, all of them — as always — wrong.

Holy crap - a caller just did something intelligent. I can't even believe it. Also, we had another power outage, it's like rolling blackouts - confined to different rows of cubes. hot. or rather, cold.

another blackout - it's like musical chairs. i think i've logged in to 7-10 computers today, trying to stay on the phone.

Send me home! I have beer to drink, baseball to watch! 23min remain. Did i mention jen brought a giant penguin, roses and chocolate? she did. i'm still smiling.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

It's even more amazing how good 30 minutes of extra sleep with your wife can make you feel in the morning. Add bacon, eggs and toast to that, and I was good to go this morning...until I got outside. It wasn't raining, it was misting. Misting is the worst. You can't figure out which setting you want your wipers on because the slowest it's too slow and the next slowest, is too fast. grr. but i just keep thinking about sleeping until 6:30a and eating a good breakfast....that keeps me happy.

Ugh, I just got out of a meeting that was completely useless and totally boring. And, I found out that my lunch today has been pushed back to 1:30p. That's the downside, the upside is that Jen is coming to have lunch with me again today, and after lunch, I'll only have 2.5 hours of work left. I know. Good huh?

My heater hasn't worked in two days, today I turned it on and magically it worked. My feet are toasty and happy.

The heater just died again. My feet are cold and sad.

Ok, now I'm starting to get hungry.

Holy crap! I just looked at stats and we made it over 10,000 page views sometime last Thursday - that's what I get for not checking my page stats very often. Bad jalynn

Lunch was good - nothing than better than the wife coming to pick you up and take you for a quick lunch. Now we just have to get through the rest of the day, fortunately that only means 2 hours.

This is bull. A bus driver refuses to drive a bus bearing a "gay themed" ad because of religious reasons. And the company is letting the employee get away with it. BULLSHIT. My religion tells me that I don't have to put up with all you bigots - so I'm going to need my company, and my government to kick your asses out. This goes right along with pharmacists that refuse to dispense a medication because it goes against their beliefs - here's a solution, don't be a pharmacist.

Meanwhile, I heard on NPR this morning Condi rice saying that we would consider all, and she empasized all options to defend our allies in asia against a NK attack. I think that maybe she was possibly implying that we would use nuclear weapons - with the option of definitely meaning that. great just great. i'll be moving to my cabin in the woods to hide from the nuclear fallout and disaster that will befall the earth if we start firing nuclear weapons all over the place.

Did you hear about the 14 year-old that got a visit from the secret service because of a post she wrote and a picture she posted on her myspace account? 14. 14! you'd think that the government would have better people to investigate than a 14 year old girl who idly said that someone should take out the presnit. Also, they spoke with her without the consent of her parents which i'm sure violates some quaint law or something - but they are likely to not care since the congress has pretty much just stood by and allowed the president to just make unprecendented grabs for power. like the torture law. yeah. the one that says the the prez can declare anyone an enemy combatant and ship them off to gitmo - this sounds familiar, i'll have to look up the passage from it can't happen here...

Ahhhh! Why can't google get all books up on their book search site? I want all knowledge at my fingertips!

Oh, and Bush wants to militarize space. awesome idea. great, just great.

Speaking of Bush - he bought nearly 100,000 acres in Paraguay - that would be south america - home of lots of war criminals.

Go back to bed america - your government is in control. Go back to bed america - please avert your eyes from the half million people fleeing iraq, don't mind the civil war, disregard the stripping of your civil rights...hey! look! dancing with the stars is on.

one of the saddest moments last week was when i was at the grocery and the woman in front of me and the cashier were talking about the tv lineup. the cashier said, tomorrow is great, you've got the cards game (i'll give him that one), deal or no deal and survivor! I'm willing to bet this guy doesn't read the paper on a regular basis and probably still thinks that saddam had something to do with 9/11.

Also, KOlberbermann is supposed to do a commentary tonight, this one about our lost right to habeaus corpus.

Ok, here's a big time waster - ChildCare Action Project - rating movies on six criteria: wanton violence/crime, impudence/hate, sex/homosexuality, drugs/alcohol, offense to god, and murder/suicide.

Here the report for bring it on - that light hearted delicious cheerleading movie with kirsten dunst and eliza dushku:

SUMMARY / COMMENTARY:*Bring It On* (PG-13) -- a sad mix of vilifying of high school hijinks and brain pan paralysis.*Bring It On* was little more than a bunch of adults acting like teenagers in vulgar and otherwise immoral ways. It was a teen sex show without nudity -- without full nudity anyway: a movie to tell young girls there are big bucks and other bundles of bounty as bouncing body babes. Too bad, too. There were some really fine athletes and gymnasts in this flick with some intricate and inspiring routines. But this open-minded, think-for-yourself, almost parent-free cheer fantasy does present some terms of mature intellectuality and profound worldliness such as "cheer sex" -- describing vulgar touching during boy/girl cheers and "ogling my goodies." That is about the extent of the value of this movie. Oh, yeah! Your teen girls will get a real good lesson in "real life" -- how to be vicious in social interactions and conniving toward completion. One of the cheers used, as a musical I guess, was " I jump! You can look but don't hump. I am major. I roar. I swear I'm not a whore." I couldn't write fast enough to catch the rest of it, but it was not any better. (easily found on the internet: I'm bitchin', great hair, / The boys all love to stare, / I'm wanted, I'm hot, / I'm everything you're not, / I'm pretty, I'm cool, / I dominate the school, / Who am I? Just guess, / Guys wanna touch my chest, / I'm rockin', I smile, / And many think I'm vile, / I'm flyin', I jump, / You can look but don't you hump, / Whoo / I'm major, I roar , / I swear I'm not a whore, / We cheer and we lead, / We act like we're on speed, / You hate us 'cause we're beautiful, / Well we don't like you either, / We're cheerleaders, / We are cheerleaders. /Roll call... ) Some of the moves in some of the cheer routines made me wonder whether those lyrics were all that pretend, especially the moves to mimic sexual intercourse. *Bring It On* is a sad mix of vilifying of high school hijinks and brain pan paralysis. And there was absolutely no evidence of any sort of concern for the developing of wholesome morals and values of young teens. But then, what is different about this teen flick from any of the other summertime flooding of PG-13 of the year 2000? All of them seem to be pushing potty-mouth smut to early teens (and younger) as if that is the way you are supposed to be when you grow up. And there was mockery of Christianity as well as one team of obviously shunned cheerleaders kneeled to pray -- twice. If this was supposed to be a comedy, there was nothing funny about it. That's all I am going to say about this journey into moral depravity and empty-headed sexual theft of childhood from children. I will leave the "rest of the story" to the Findings/Scoring section.As always, it is best to refer to the Findings/Scoring section -- the heart of the CAP analysis model -- for the most complete assessment possible of this movie.
NOTE: Multiple occurrences of each item described below may be likely.Wanton Violence/Crime (W):
threat of violence
vulgar argument leading to fightImpudence/Hate (I)(1):
many "catfight" insults and innuendo
arrogance against parental authority (when?)
insults based on assumed homosexuality
vulgar gestures
two uses of the most foul of the foul words (that would be "fuck")
41 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary (they actually counted?)Sex/Homosexuality (S):
many vulgar cheer moves and routines, including two women mimicking sexual intercourse and lesbian actions (I must have missed that)
planning sexual immorality
sex talk, comments, innuendoes
locker room underwear
ghosting of female anatomy through clothing (ghosting?)
vulgar self-touching (?)
vulgar dance routine
camera angle forcing viewer on private parts
admission of bisexuality (really?)
vulgar touch, male to female during cheer
male/female in bed
using breasts as car wash sponges
"ogling my goodies"
inappropriate touch
sex song (sex song?)
potty-mouthed younger brother
homosexual presence (ooooh scary homosexuals...)Drugs/Alcohol (D):
abuse of prescription drugs (really?)Offense to God (O)(2):
"The Naked Ape" book (the book claiming man is from apes) (ooooh scary evolution...)
six uses of God's name in vain without the four letter expletiveMurder/Suicide (M)(3) :
none noted

HAHAHHAHAAHA - for your entertaiment I can't wait to read the one for harry potter (oooh scary witchcraft...)

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's amazing how good 10 more minutes of sleep and a hot dog can make you feel in the morning, now, if it only had been slathered with mustard - I would have been ready to freaking GO. Theres something about getting up before 7a, even if I've gone to bed before 10p that just hurts. Jen and I "slept in" until 7:30a on Saturday and it was great - got up, felt fine, bounced around all silly like and then cleaned the apartment, all was well and good.

How is it only 10:02a?

Space cadet has 14 interactions. I have 20 - and have been here 1.5 hours less. She really doesn't do anything. I have no idea how she managed to keep her aux time down to 20% - that means that 80% of the time she is available for phone calls - which is just bull as evidenced by the fact that when carl looked at his interactions (59) and looked at hers (19) - they were so vastly different. They should be very similar. The two are here for the same hours, rated for the same skills, and yet someone takes vastly more calls -- something fishy here.

Speaking of carl - he's in training the whole day, which means that I am stuck with no one to talk to, and I have to go ask the space cadet to do all the things that I would normally have carl do. "why?" you might ask, because I don't have the passwords to do it myself. Thanks alot.

Ok, if you want to check on the status of your order, do not follow this script:
"I'd like to check the status of my order"
"ok, great. do you have the order number?"
" you have the account number?"
"uh, ok - do you have your user name?"
"ok, what's the company name"
"and what day was the order placed?"
"i don't know."
"how much was it for?"
"i don't know."

yeah, don't do that.

Also, I find it very interesting what people will say when they think that they are on hold, when in reality, I have simply placed them on mute. hahaha

Some caller just asked me if I knew anyone with diabetes or cancer and proceeded to tell me about a cure that was discovered in 1951 - check it out, it's the Dr. Budwig diet, and it is supposed to prevent and cure cancer, atrhtirtis, multiple sclerosis, psoriasiss, eczema and acne - all be eating some of the "budwig mix." That's cottage cheese, flaxseed oil and ground flaxseed - YUM YUM.

So NK is reportedly going to test a second nuclear bomb...wonderful. Also, just out, the first explosion was plutonium based, not uranium - making it (definitely) bushies fault, not clinton - the goods, via americablog -

Right so the last time I checked, space cadet had 35 calls, and I had 69. The time I checked before that, she had 33 and I had 56 - which means I am answering 15% of the calls I am. She sucks, I win. Hire me.

My boss just told me off-the-record about a job that hasn't-been-approved-of-yet, but may be opening up after peak --that job would be for me. It would be very similar to what I do now, with a little admin work, reports and the like. I say, it's not my first choice, but since I don't really know what my first choice is, I'll take it.

Also, I asked a question about something that our dear friend Joe (who always get's yelled at) told a client. Turns out the information that he disclosed was a huge no no...this is just the latest in a long line of screw ups on his part. Bossman told me that he'll be gone soon - and I'll have my cube back. Part of the trouble Joe is in, is that he didn't get enough training, the bigger, badder part is that when he doesn't know the answer to something, he just makes shit up. That won't do. Speaking of the cube - since Shane left, my boss offered me his old cube, it has about six times as much desk space as mine, but I'd be seperated from Carl, so I declined - and will remain, sharing a cube with approximately three feet of desk space and no drawers.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Monday! Even though it's monday, I must have gotten enough sleep last night because I'm not like, oh god it's monday, it's just, you know, monday. Let's talk about the rams and cards - ok, you're right, lets NOT talk about the rams and cards. also ani was lacking something on saturday night - she just wasn't that great....hopefully broken social scene in two weeks will be fantastic, and i wish i wish i wish i could see thd dresden dolls this weekend, but alas - jen and i have been summoned to a weenie roast...

Hey! If you call and want to check on the status of an order, have the order number? or the account number? or know what you ordered? how you ordered? when you ordered? something.

Today I start my new schedule - get here at 8:30a, leave at 5p. And here's the good part, take lunch at 1p, which means that when I get back, I only have a short three hours to go until I get off- and then with any luck, I'll go to the gym.

Wow - they really need to fix their hold music, because all I hear is static, interspersed with some truly terribly 80s music, back on hold, ok, now it's an ok song - oh paul young... Every time you go, away, you take a piece of me with you....and there's the static again.

I'm going to Philly with Jen Oct 27-30!

Monday, October 16, 2006

I think the space cadet just lost a $35k account because she was negligent in calling a customer back. And yesterday I spoke to two executives in a large company that had a large account with us and who were pissed at their sales rep and account manager - they were ready to pull their account (and they may have). But, and this is why I loved them, they were very nice and polite to me - see, they recognized that it was not MY fault, I just answer the phones.

Ouch, that was the second client today that had an order declined. Um what's the most diplomatic way to say you're a deadbeat?

More from MS (a long story today):
So yesterday, Sead calls in a fraudulent permit. That's the granddaddy of all parking problems. The University Police have to be called, the permit must be confiscated, and the car is immediately towed. There's a nice $500 fine given to the owner, who has to pay an additional $100 to get his or her car from our friends at Harmann's Towing. Being fraudulent is bad - and expensive.

I was with a customer at the window when Sead made the report on the radio. Lisa and Pete were gone, Stephanie was on the phone with her realtor. So I told Sead to stand by - I could tell he was very excited by this discovery, as he responded with a very discouraged "That's clear." I was trying to hurry along my customer; he wanted to argue about some tickets and I was in no mood. He settled for a print-out of each individual ticket, of which there were five, so the printer calibrated for what seemed like an eternity and finally spit out his tickets, then I handed them over to Mr. I-Don't-Want-to-Pay just in time to hear Sead say, "Cancel the tow truck, the owner is here." Since I never called the tow truck to begin with, I took no further action and proceeded with my work.

A little later, a tragic-looking student came walking up to the window with a ticket in her hand. She was all red-faced and teary-eyed. I was sitting at my desk and Stephanie was standing at the window (as we were having a very interesting discussion about macaroni salad), so Stephanie was the lucky person who got to service this customer as I sat back and enjoyed the show.

The girl very meekly asked first about the only-ticket policy - at this point we didn't know she was the fraudulent permit maker - and Stephanie asked to see the ticket. "Well, this is for a fraudulent daily," said Stephanie, "and there's nothing we can do about that." The whole speech is pretty much the same for people like this - you can try to appeal the ticket, the committee, the decision, the chances, worth a shot, blah, blah, blah - and Stephanie gave it to her, with vigor. As she continued to speak, I watched this girl's face go from hope to fear to distress to complete horror. She didn't break down, not yet. It was after Stephanie completed her informational speech and said to the silent customer, "You have perfect eyebrows." This is when the girl completely lost her composure and started sobbing.

Why Stephanie said this, I have no idea. Perhaps if this ticket would have been for "No Permit," or "Overtime Parking at a Meter," I could have understood (or at least justified) this comment about said customer's facial hair. But this was the big one, the $500 fine, and that comment was grossly inappropriate, and the timing was even less appropriate.

Stephanie asked this girl not to cry, as her crying would make Stephanie cry and would cause her makeup to run. Again, inappropriate much?

Anyway, this girl tries to bargain with Stephanie, asking if some alternate form of punishment can be arranged, asking how this fine will affect her records at Wash U., etc., and decides to start filling out the appeal form, as that was really her only option. I was kind of feeling sorry for the girl. That is, until Sead walked in with all the paperwork, including the fraudulent daily permit in question.

It was exquisite. To the untrained eye, it looked completely legitimate. Stephanie asked Sead, "Why is this fraudulent?" because she could not see the tampering. Sead coolly replied, "Touch it."

You're aware of what the daily permits look like, with the month, date and year to scratch off, lottery-ticket style. She had scratched off the month of October and the year 2006, and the 12th was also scratched off, as she was displaying this permit yesterday. But, she had used this daily on the 4th, 9th and 10th of the month as well, because she had very intricately cut those numbers from another daily permit and glued them over the ones that were already scratched off.

It was a very nice job, the cutting and pasting were impressive, but as Sead said proudly, it was the 4th that allowed him to find her out. She got just a little careless when cutting out the four, and ended up making a straight cut at the top of the circle, so just a tiny bit of the yellow from the scratched-off 4 underneath was showing through.

I imagined her sitting at home, carrying out this evil deed with glee, perhaps showing her friends the fine handiwork, hanging it from the rearview mirror and walking around the car as though she were a ticket monitor, thinking that she had beaten the system. I was really kind of impressed. It takes moxie to be so diabolical, and then walk in to your accuser's domain asking for mercy, and even sympathy!

This alone would have made yesterday very entertaining. But there was icing on this cake, made clear when her appeal form was completed. This girl is a law student. Ha! It's always a law student. Not only can I solidify my theory that all law students are the lowest forms of life on earth (or at least in the University community), but also - this girl is fucked, man.

Sparks, you may know about this better than me since you have questionable life goals, but I have had to deal with law students before - apparently before they can pass the bar, they have to stand before God and explain every little transgression in their entire life history. This summer, I spent a whole afternoon printing off parking tickets some guy received in 2003 because he was trying to pass the bar. They were minor offenses, and there were a lot of them, but they were all paid within a few days and none of them had the word "fraudulent" in the violation. He was a complete maniac about this and had to be assured several times that the dates he received and paid the tickets would be clearly visible on the print-out.

I guess it's an ethics thing? No wonder this girl was so upset, and was so very worried about what her record would say about the day's events.

Okay, but wait - it gets even better. The Appeals Committee is very secret and very special - no mere human may enter their chambers or even know their true identities. This is why all appeals must be submitted in writing. However, since the fine for a fraudulent permit is so massive, an exception is made for those who receive this citation - they may plead their case in person.

This girl was interested in begging for mercy from the Appeals Committee, which is meeting today. I, of course, being completely powerless, had to ask the boss if this was feasible. I was told this girl could have five minutes to present her case, and no more. But apparently the AC is a stone-cold entity, as Lisa said there was no way they would reverse her fine. It was agreed that she could speak to the committee, but it seemed as though she would serve as the meeting's entertainment.

It was a big deal - I was told to inform all the committee members that a student would be present for the first five minutes of the meeting, and that if any of them did not wish to hear her comments for safety or security purposes, to please arrive for the 12:00 meeting no earlier than 12:10.

Right before the office closed yesterday, our offender called to say she had reconsidered and did not wish to speak at today's meeting, but would like to speak at next month's meeting.

When I told Lisa about this, she first looked aggravated, but then her face relaxed into a smile. "This is really going to be terrible for her," she said, and I nodded in agreement, thinking that she meant that her dreams of being a lawyer could be compromised by this daily permit fiasco. "I don't think she would want to address the Appeals Committee so badly if she knew that one of the members is the Associate Dean of the Law School."

That is true classic parking comedy.

One more thing - daily permits are $5 each. She spent $10 to purchase two (one for the cutting, one for the pasting) and ended up using it a total of four days before being caught on the fourth day. Her fraudulent permit saved her a total of $10.

Just to drive home the point I'm making: now she owes $500, which is $120 more than the cost of an annual permit.

(Editors Note: MS and I have decided that the chance that she could get in trouble for naming names in her guest blogging is slim - therefore, I've left the names intact.)

Its a good thing that MS posted today because it has been really fucking busy here. Friday's are not supposed to be like this, and I don't like it.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Good morning, I feel like shit today. I think that I caught whatever Jen had last week - which means that I can look forward to several days of runny nose, headache and congestion. Awesome. I'm hoping that a cup of hot chocolate and some grapes will do wonders to improve my disposition.

Carl just informed me that while he took 70 calls yesterday, our friend the space cadet took 19. Yeah. Slacker.

Well, the hot chocolate and grapes did the trick - I still feel sick, but I feel better than I did when I first got here. yay!

Meanwhile, I forgot this yesterday, but a new study out of MIT puts Iraqi civilian deaths at 650,000. Which is a huge number - and far higher than other studies have reported, however it seems that this report was the only one to use the scientific method and actually polling people in Iraq - lending it significant credence. Expert pollster Zogby, commenting on the method said that he is 95% sure that the number is accurate. (and even if it wasn't, the mere fact that Iraqis think that the US has caused nearly 3/4 of a million deaths is disasterous for american foreign policy in the region - what happened to we leave when they ask us to?)

Twelve percent of my calls today have been in regards to that fraudulent same as cash product that we have previously discussed. I'd say the problem is spreading. We are now advising people to call our fraud number and notify local law enforcement.

I just looked around and realized that I am completely alone in my department. I have no idea where everyone else has run off to.

Yeah and when I looked up and saw that no one was here, it was because I needed some information that is only ain one of the systems that I can'access yet, after having been here for, oh, four weeks.

Oh lord, I just had a phone call that lasted over 25 minutes that contained such gems as "is card value how many i want?" and what does "quantity mean?" Also "will i have these by this wednesday?" Seeing as how it was an order of 1000 that would have to be specially made, I'm thinking you shouldn't have waited until the thursday before...

I would like to go home now. I have a cup of tea waiting for me and some cookie dough. 58min remain. 53 interactions.

Booming economy my ass - this man robbed a bank and promptly turned himself in so that he could receive a prison sentence that would keep him housed and fed until social security kicked in.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I just remembered that one of the permanent people took today, tomorrow and friday off. Without her, it promises to be a busy week.

My temp agency just called to tell me there was some sort of problem with my time card and overtime last week - I suspect that it has to do with the fact that they paid us for our lunches last week. I am glad though that I decided to check my messages...I had eight unlistened to voicemails, and they needed verification of my hours today-because they process timecards today. Not getting paid on Friday would have sucked.

Uh oh, someone on the phone just told me that she got a very condescending phone call from one of the permanent people here - a certain space cadet. Anyway, I was able to help - but it does remind me that you can be in this job long enough that you start to hate people and theink that they are stupid, even when they are not. I must remember to be kind to the non-stupids and be kind to the stupids, but privately laugh.

"Do you see an order button on your home page?" "No." "Do you see anything that says 'place order'" "No." "what do you see?" "it says 'click to place order'" Really? Really? This would be one of the stupid people.

My boss just asked me a question about another co-worker - I'd say she likes me, and he sucks. Therefore, she should keep me permanently and ditch him. Thanks.

I really do enjoy helping pleasant people. They make my life so much easier.

I mentioned yesterday how I hate when my boss makes me what for something silly while I have a client on the line breathing down my neck -- today she finished an email before answering my question. Thanks for that.

It's been too freaking busy here today. I've been on the phone literally all day. Which would be fine if I didn't have to fill out a "ticket" for every god damned phone call that I take.

MS guestblogging from Gosh-Shoe:

So there's a new responsibility for the Customer Service Representative, a.k.a. me. Managing the Appeals Committee - this entails setting up the meetings (a big ridiculous process, as you may recall), making the reservation at the K Center, and then mailing all the decisions to those who submitted appeals. I'm still giving all the submitted appeals to Pete, who is handling it for now, but enjoyed my first crack at appeals yesterday, when Bossman asked me to contact all the inhumanly-busy people who must attend the meeting and ask when they were available. I sent e-mails, made phone calls, and got to use my skills of logic to finally find a time that was convenient for the majority. Who said those word problems in math class would never come in handy? I kept Lisa updated, found a time, made the reservations, and sent out an e-mail to all the committee members letting them know the final time for the big meeting. I felt pretty damn good about it too.

Lisa commended me on my skills in handling this process - I was sufficiently patted on the back, and rightfully so. I was quick and efficient, reliable and friendly. Mission accomplished.

So I proceed with the two million other things I needed to get done today, when Lisa came to shred some paperwork. Since she was standing right next to me, she actually spoke instead of just e-mailing the news she was about to report. Her exact words were, "You're going to be mad at me." Not only frightening to hear, but not quite characteristic of what I feel should be exhibited by a BOSS. Know what I mean?

I planned the meeting around Lisa's availability, given to me in random 2-hour chunks of time on various days within the next week. I guess she gave me those chunks a little prematurely, as she said that the meeting time I discovered and sent out to the attendees was not going to work. Before I could get too frustrated, she mentioned that we weren't going to have to reschedule the day, just adjust the time by half an hour.

My response was silence. I guess she took this as me being angry, as she said she was going to take care of notifying the committee members of the change. I wasn't angry, especially since this meant I had no further action to take with this matter, except making sure the reservations for the meeting place could be slightly adjusted.

If this would have stopped here, at this particular point, I wouldn't have thought any more of it. What makes this story even better is that she felt compelled to tell me why exactly she couldn't be at the meeting until noon.

Her daughter, who is in grade school, has some kind of Grandparents Day extravaganza at her school on Friday. The grandparents come to school, they all go to church or chapel or something like that, and there is all kinds of food and merriment. Since the boss family was transplanted to St. Louis, all of little dude's grandparents live far, far away. But Grandparents Day is so very special that they make a trip here for it every year, using a very complex system of alternating years for separate sides of the family and separate marriages within said sides of family.

This year, Grandpa and step-Grandma were supposed to come for the shindig, but due to some unfortunate oral surgery needs for Grandma, they won't be able to make it.

Lisa told of the trauma involved on Grandparents Day with her daughter's fellow students - I got to hear one particularly sad story about a little boy a couple of years ago who had no Grandparents to show on Grandparents Day, and the horror! The tears! The humiliation! This kid may not make it to adolescence.

So to spare her poor offspring the same terrible fate, Lisa is allowing her to stay home from school during the festivities, which end at lunchtime, 11:30. Lisa must make her daughter feel very special during the morning hours, and then drop her off at school at 11:30, which is why she can't make it to the meeting until noon.

I could have done very well without hearing that story. All she owed me was "I can't make it, we'll have to reschedule." But instead I get that story, which is supposed to keep me from being angry about the misunderstanding.

What's even funnier about this is that while I'm listening, nodding intently, adding a "hmm," every now and then to show my interest, I can feel this look of extreme concern (maybe even sympathy?) that has somehow jumped onto my face without my knowledge. Furrowed brow, puppy-dog eyes, corners of the mouth turned slightly downward . . . how did that happen? I wasn't particularly concerned, nor was I mentally exuding sympathy. But there it was, all over my face.

I think I made her feel a whole lot better about the whole fiasco. Well, either that, or I looked completely ridiculous. It's hard to say. At least the little kid won't have to be emotionally scarred for the rest of her life, and the Appeals Committee will be successfully meeting. All is well indeed.

The end.

Oh yeah, and troop levels are going to remain the same until 2010.

I like people that mutter everything that they are doing when they are on the phone with me. This woman has been talking to herself for the past three minutes.

I would like to go home now. 1hr and 2min remain. 55 interactions.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

There was an army of skunks outside. No I did not see the army of skunks, but boy oh boy could I smell them. It was like an assault on my nose. When I got inside, you could still smell them, and people where commenting "what is that?" So I don't know if campus security was shooting/trapping them for fun and things got nasty or the stench has either faded or I've gotten used to it. I hope it doesn't permeate my skin, else I'll have to bath in tomato sauce tonight.

Sadly, it doesn't look like Keith had a special comment last night - too bad, I was really looking forward to it.

I've been here 55 minutes and I've read all the news, checked all the blogs. Nothing.

NK threatens to fire a nuclear missile. Lord help us.

Hey Rachel Ray - here's a new one:

chicken in pan
rub with "peppery herb" spices
douse with orange soda
remove chicken
more orange soda
pour over chicken
= spicy orange chicken
i win.

Also I have a really good sandwich for lunch today, and I would like to eat it now. Turkey, cheddar, and bacon with tomato/basil paste dressing. I want it now. Unfortunately I have to wait two hours for it.

Oh joy, I just found out that have to go to some stupid meeting at 11a. Lovely. Maybe some more news will have happened by then.

UPDATE: I just re-read the email, the stupid meeting isn't until next week..and I'm an idiot.

Netflix better send out our movies today! I needs me some moves. Jen and I were not impressed with Annie Hall; Antonia's Line had to be turned off due to weird factor before bed and What Dreams May Come was fantastic. I'm looking forward to Alien 4 - can you tell which movies Jen picks and which I pick to watch alone?

And I would like to go home now. 3hr 57min remain. 29 interactions.

I really hate when I have a question and my supervisor is doing something like checkin her voicemail. Instead of dropping the voicemail and helping me help the client that's on the phone...she listens to all of her voicemail - leaving me to deal with the angry client that has to wait. Isn't the first thing they tell you, client first?

Regarding that skunk episode this morning, this just arrived in my inbox:
Subject: RE: Temperature
Several people have complained, and it is being addressed. This morning, the vents were closed due to the capture of a little creature (skunk), and the littlie guy sprayed the area outside of our facility. Maintenance forgot to reopen the vents, so they are in the process of doing so now.
Help is on the way.
Thanks for being patient, and please communicate to those that are being affected by the unusual warmth in the building.
uh-huh. see, I don't know who's complaining, beacuse I'm always fucking cold, and the temperature today has been great.

Make a wish. I'd like to go home now. Supposedly I'm going to hit the gym tonight....

I hate when they put me on hold. Hey! remember when my boss sat on my desk and it collapsed? Good times.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

I hate mondays! and my buddy at work shane, resigned on friday because of family issues. and he was one of my favorites. and we altered captain smiley on friday. Captain smiley now has a post it for a head (so he can change emotions) and he's holding his "real" head in his hand. It is seriously fucked up. If i can find my digital camera, pictures will be forth coming. anyway, shane left and that sucks. also joe is not here yet. but, but, i do have a cheesy bagel.

Joe finally showed up, I guess he thought that the new schedule was starting today, actually it starts next monday, but whatever.

Weekend was good, too short but good. I went to WILD - yes it was in fact my third WILD since I graduated and you know what? It was still fun and I saw lots of people that had graduated last year and the year before. Also, unlike the previous five years, the weather was beautiful. God dammit.


Like a small child, North Korea threatened to do something destructive, the parents said no no don't do that, and then North Korea did it. The tested a nuclear bomb. This is worrisome for a number of reasons. Earlier this year, everyone got fussy because NK threatened a missile test. The world blustered and said no you can't and NK said oh yes we can. Now they've done the same thing with a NUCLEAR bomb - making them members of the nuke gang...a very very unstable member. No one seems to have any sway over this rogue state and they have complete disregard for international law and standards (wonder where they got that from) - point is they have no problem with producing government sponsored very good forgeries - what's to stop them from selling a small nuclear weapon to a terrorist group? That is the real threat of a nuclear NK - not that they will attack one of their neighbors - surely they would be crushed under the world-wide response but that they will sell their technology to an amorphous terrorist group, that can not be subjugated by overwhelming military force.

Will NK's nuclear test give Bush (a perceived) measure of sanity if he were to attack IRAN now to prevent Iran from doing the same thing? But wouldn't that be lost because he just let NK sit there for years and years, doing nothing but concentrating on a pointless war in Iraq - a country that definitely didn't have nuclear weapons...

Oh some poor fuck accepted $3000 in our cash based product in the $500 denominations - he was calling to verify the serial numbers before he deposited them in his bank account. The guy is a poor fuck because our highest denom is $100 - which means he got jacked for $3000. he sounded absolutely bummed - I hate when good, common people get screwed.

That poor fuck was in receipt of $6000 in fraudulent product.

I hate when they fuck around with my we went back to hour lunches, but they moved mine up to 12 - this means that when i get done with lunch, I still have 4.5 hours of work - without any breaks. bleh.

I may have to split for awhile this afternoon due to training - we'll see. Also, we have a guest blooger today:

J9 Brizzle blogging from Stalks Corp:

Rovian Plot?
Corruption, torture, deception, incompetence, and now child molestation. Way to go GOP, you now own all these things five weeks before elections.Bad move, Republicans, bad move. Or...was this all done on purpose... is this all a part of some crazy plot? Has this been Karl Rove's plan all along? Was he drinking with Newt Gingrich and Bill O'Reilly one night and say ..... Karl: Newt, you think you're so badass, sparking the Republicon comeback... whatever bro. You know what? I bet I could totally win this election. No. Matter. What. F*ckin' seriously bros - I'll take away internationally respected human rights that have been in place for 200 years, leak evidence about how we actually HAVE been lying about Iraq, AND AND AND, have it be revealed that not only is one of our candidates racist but that we've also got a pedophile! A friggin pedophile! And with all that, I bet I could still win! Newt & Bill: Bullsh*t dude.Karl: How much you wanna bet?Newt & Bill: Wanna bet privacy, corporate checks & balances, open civil discourse, and the separation of church & state? Karl: Well, we've already started getting rid of that sh*t ... how about just a 12 pack?Newt: I'm down. Bill: Totally.Karl: HaHa - you're on pussies! You guys are gonna owe me so much beer after this! Woo!(Rove throws back his frosty mug, slams it on the table and continues the friendly game of darts the trio was playing *thwap* and lands a bullseye smack in the middle of the Bill of Rights taped precariously to the board.) Karl: Who da man?! Hell yeah! F*ck habeas corpus! Fist Pound!Let's hope this recent scandal and insanity FINALLY wakes people up.
(Editors Note: I don't think North Korea testing a nuclear weapon was part of teh bet - lucky us)
Arthouse Smut
I hardly do any work (as evident by my Monday to Friday blogging.) I hope the office never actually looks at the internet log they have on file for me. Today, I started reading this "Slate" online magazine article about this new art-house indie film which includes hard-core, explicit scenes. Halfway through treading it, I realized they included photo-stills from the film in the article itself.

How would I ever explain myself out of that one?

"Janine, were you looking at pornography on the company computer? During work hours?"

"What?! No! It's, it's high art guys! A social commentary on aggressive sex and the smut industry – not the smut itself! See?! There's a difference…
Smut Pornography: a scene of nasty, dirty sex with hardcore shots galore, as opposed to…
Art house Smut Pornography: a scene of nasty, dirty sex with hardcore shots galore set to the music of Peaches and ending with the actors reading a Sylvia Plath poem!
Don't you see the difference?!"

Nasty Potty
Nasty Potty
Despite the professional setting, the bathrooms in my building are often disgusting. People not flushing, leaving paper towels on the floor, the list goes on (well, at least beyond two things.)

Well, yesterday on my trip to the restroom, someone had left their used toilet-seat cover on the toilet! What?! Um, yeah, I don't want your ass-paper, thanks but no thanks.


(Editors Note: I completely heart J9 over this issue - what is it with people that leave their ass paper still on the seat - also what does that paper REALLY block? nothing.)

Also yesterday, to put a lovely end to such a nice workday, someone dinged the side of my car hard enough with their door so as to not only leave a nice little dent, but also transfer paint from their own car onto mine. I think I'm going to writing a note on my car that reads:

To the dick that dinged my car yesterday,

I would have thought that our office camaraderie would have made our relationship more honest. Honest enough, at least, to warrant a little note after you dented my car.

I mean, not that I absolutely adore my car or anything; frankly I find beetles and the people who drive them a little obnoxious. But I got a good deal on it and it treats me well. I actually think my beetle's exceptionally cute compared to others, but that's just my opinion.

But what an end to a glorious workday spent typing & typing away in order to get you the information YOU need to do YOUR job. My research position affects everyone in the company and I do it with little verbal complaining despite the fact that the work is mind-numbing and would make a marine's iron will snap.

Oh no, despite all I've done for you, you still refuse to fess up to the mutilation (yes! MUTILATION! And I'm not exaggerating goddamnit!) you have caused to my little Ricardo. (Yes, I've now named the car, shut up. You f*cked up my car, so you're not allowed to say anything about it.) Anyhoo, I harbor no hard feelings. I guess I just thought better of you. As co-workers I would have thought that you'd be a good person, good enough to leave a note with your name, number, insurance information and a simple "sorry" so that I could call your sorry butt up and make you fix my sh*t! But you didn't and I'm a good person so I harbor no hard feelings … other than wanting you to suffer the most excruciating pain known to man.

A simple paper cut would be nice.

J9 Brizzle
(That's right! I'm gansta b*tch - watch yo' back! I got you, I GOT YOU!)

Apparently NK's nuclear test was a dud - but they still tried and we should still be worried.

So that guy that I was on the phone with for an hour last week, just say thank you.

Yay! The sales rep who is listening to calls (ie. training) is not sittign with me!

Let's just talk about how the low on thursday is 31 degrees (that's below freezing) and also, it was dark this morning - very dark, and we got up late. i hate the winter. fortunately daylight savings is coming up at the end of teh month which meeans that it will be light in the morning for about a week and then dark forever. and then it will be spring. now jalynn, you're jumping to the end of the month like it's not even there, well guess what? Its 10/09, this weekend is ani and the wine festival, next weekend, is the weenie roast, dresden dolls and broken social scene, and the following weekend is halloween and jen's business trip to Philly. and then it's november. fuck that. that last time i could actually remember and feel like i was in the moment was june. july, august, and september just got away from me.

OHHHH! I did dishes. ALL of them. Hooray!

I'd like to go home now. 3hr 2min remain. 34 interactions.

Yeah. Google bought YouTube for $1.65 BILLION. I wish I had $1.65 billion to just throw around. Not surprisingly, Google is up $8.5 today. How long until facebook gets bought out?

I would like to go home now. 1hr 15min remain. 45 interactions.

Note: Keith Olbermann is supposed to deliver another special comment tonight. Watch it or catch it on crooksandliars immediately following the broadcast if you don't have cable.

I just got the same woman for the third time - everytime I get her, she tells me the same thing - she needs a copy of an invoice. And I tell her the same thing - she needs to speak with her Project Manager. And every time I get her on the phone I ask her if she contacted her Project Manager and everytime she comes back she's talked to everyone and their brother, but not her PM. Now, I tried to transfer her and the system dropped the call twice. I SWEAR I didn't hang up on her, but I wanted to. Now it's like russian roulette - waiting to see which one of us is going to get her on the phone again.

I just got cold.

Monday, October 09, 2006

When I get lonely, I make a new friend.

On the way into work today, I saw a pick up truck....with a spoiler - yep right there on its back gate. It was quiet odd.

See fridays are nice because half the people that work here don't come in - so i get to park in the parking lot that's not a quarter mile away from my office (no really - a quarter mile, i checked.) and half the people around the nation think the weekend starts on friday too, so we take about half the calls that we normally do.

Of course, those 50% of people can still call in with involved questions or issues that require long long discussions with my boss and making 2 or 3 other calls in order to get the information that the caller wants. Yeah, seems all those people, don't start their weekends on friday.

My hours changed as of 10/16, I know come in a half-hour earlier. Really all that does is mess up my morning. Jen leaves at 7a and if I went in at 9a, I could potentially make it to the gym before work, but since i know have to leave at 8a, it doesn't really leave enough time to hit the gym and shower and leave for work. boo on that. and i still got out at 5p, so it's still going to be dark by the time i get home - and who wants to run errands in the dark? not me. dark time means sleepy time.

It's friday it's friday, it's friday. In true college tradition, WILD is tomorrow, and by god, I'm going! I may not drink a six-pack or more and later pass out, but I will go and watch undergraduates do it.

This is some serious lightning:

I would like to go home now.

Also, Keith had another scorcher last night, his best yet. Check it out at

I'm tired of being at work.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Still busy drumming up business for Jen - be with you shortly.

I hate when people use the incorrect form of "you are." The correct form is "you're" not "your."

I just helped a woman place a $250,000 order. I feel a little special.

Why don't people like me? Another woman asked to speak with my supervisor. Hanging my head in shame, I went to talk to Bossman. I told her the situation and gave her the account number- pulling up the name she said "oh god - i talked to this bitch over email already, i went round and round with her." and i thought to myself, i don't feel so bad anymore.

It's 12:09 and I want to go home. Golly, only 5hr and 21min remain. Fortunately, Ariela is online to keep me company. In other news, I did a load of laundry last night. I know, I hope you were sitting down for that. Also, I bought one of those laser lights for pets...Tasty and Monkey can not get enough of it - with a flick of the wrist they are tearing through the apartment, approaching the speed of light. With such strenuous exercise, it's not long before they have completely worn themselves out. I highly recommend getting one - just don't look at that dot of light on the floor for too long, it makes your eyes hurt.

Foley update:
2 GOP leaders say "woulda coulda shouda"
1 GOP leader says "what do you want me to do, take off my shirt and give myself 40 lashes?"
and the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) wants an investigation into the (apparent) dissemination of a coverup story about why they didn't investigate those "naughty emails."

Well that one call only toom me 18 minutes to figure out. And, while on hold, I got to listen to "Another one bites the dust." I really like listening to the different hold music. Once it was Nsync played on the flute. No, really.

Via Raw Story (via BBC) - Want to live until you're over 100 - indulge in a heavy diet of cigars, sex and coffee....also manual labor, white meat, fish, eggs, milk, vegetables, and lay off the alcohol. Sounds like a pretty good life to me...i'll be heading off to my cabin in Canada, where i will hunt and fish all day and do nothing else.

With this whole foley thing, I can't help but sit back and gleefully watch the GOP tear itself apart. Election day is 33 days away.

This is so cool - Secret rooms.

Here's something - this guy (nascar fuel expert) says he can make a high octane fuel that is molecular indistinguishable from gasoline from pig waste - "pigoline." There's at least one MIT scientist that says it's possible. And there's no catalyst and no combustion - the process of turning poop to gas takes about three hours and there are no waste products. if this guy gets backing - he could be huge.

Update on the GOP tearing themselves apart (ugh - I'm really going to link to fox news...) Fox news reports that an internal GOP poll suggests that if Hastert does not resign - the GOP could suffer "massive losses" in the house come election day. What does "massive losses" mean? 20-50 seats. The dems only need a net gain of 15 to take back the House. as of earlier today, the were polling ahead of the repubs in 11 of 15 competitive races. and what did hastert announce earlier today in his press conference, that he won't be resigning because that would be just what we dems = gleefully jumping around.,2933,218043,00.html

Don't lie to me lady - you didn't fax your order in, you called it in, and faxed over an agreement. So when you said that you faxed your order in, you misled me and i had to tell you information that would have been correct, had you told me all the facts. so don't get annoyed with me if we've been on the phone for several minutes, and then i have to transfer you.

Who remembers SNOOD? C'mon that game you and everyone you knew, was addicted to in college. You controlled a cannon that shot smiling furry faces at other smiling furry faces, and by forming chains of three or more, you knocked large chunks down? Starting to remember? No? here.
now go play.

On hold again. "Oh god, sorry!" hold again. caller comes back, we chat, i tell her what she wants to hear, she says "i'm loving you." show the love.

They changed the flavor or runts. the only ones that resemble their original flavor are the bananas, strawberries, and oranges. The cherries now suck. they completely did away with lime and they've added blue raspberry - i am not a happy camper.

Three more pages come forward -

I would like to go home now.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

There's nothing like being on hold at 9:08 in the morning. rah rah.
And my longest call today has been 15 minutes. I just want to avoid the hour long calls of yesterday.
I officially have my very own financial advisor. I expect them to start laying gold eggs.
In the midst of the (growing) foley scandal - I bring you this: Scientist now say that by 2100, 1/3 of the world will be desert and agricultural will be impossible.
Scary huh? well back to the foley thing. three times yesterday on fox news, the onscreen graphic incorrectly identified foley as a democrat. fair and balanced my ass.
Rapture Index is 156. from daily kos: "Soul Protection Factor 15 is recommended if you'll be walking among the heathen today. And be sure to get yourself checked out if you discover any odd-shaped moles on your body---it could be the onset of secular depravity."
Some guy just talked my ear off for 15 minutes because he didn't like the way that the new system was layed out because the special way that he did it is not as easy to do with the new system. Basically he had x amount of money that he wanted to spend on our product - our product has a per unit fee and a shipping fee per x number of units. The old system used to display all types of the product, the shipping info and a running total. The new system does not display this running total. So the guy was angry that he couldn't just plug in information and get a total. The thing is, it's not comlicated math. Here's an example:
i have $1000, i want to get the most units for my money. all units have the same per unit fee. i want reds. reds are ($100 + $3 unit fee) + $10 shipping = total cost. take $1000/total cost, if # is greater than 1 you can have more, less than, and you have to have less. math easy. guy dumb.
and if he said "long story short jalynn" one more time, i was going to have to smack him upside his irrated head.
Everyone must be at lunch because it got fairly quiet here. Maybe it will stay that way...
Notes from those still laboring at Gosh shoe:
My morning at work: Arrive to find I am alone in the office, wonder what would happen if I got sick or had an accident on the way to work and couldn't make it in. Help some customers, answer the phone, check my e-mail and do some work. Bossman arrives at her usual time (which is well past 8:30) and sends me a frantic e-mail message, asking me to please help her, as she is trying to send out an e-mail survey about the unnamed program and it is "more labor-intensive" than she had first thought (exact words). So she asks me to take the bottom half of the alphabet. This process to too strenuous and stupid to tell you about in this e-mail, but I'll leave it to your imagination as to how asinine it actually was. Bossman and I continue to fight the system (communicating only by e-mail as usual until I finally went into her office and demanded to talk face-to-face about this project) in order to get this mass e-mail sent. I work straight through until 11:45, as this is a very urgent matter. So does Bossman. No smoke breaks, no restroom breaks, no shooting rubber bands or daydreaming. In the meantime, S (who, as a reminder, was promoted to a position that puts her in charge of the unnamed program) comes in at 10 a.m., talks to her realtor on the phone for an hour, has a leisurely conversation with another employee, sings some songs, and talks on the phone. Then she left at noon for a 1:00 meeting on the s40. I'm left wondering why Bossman and I had to work our asses off to get this thing done, and S (again, she is in charge of the unnamed program) had absolutely nothing to do with it. Well, I know why I did - Bossman asked me to. Regardless of whether or not she's a good boss, she is my boss.
Remember that if you have a story about your own adventure in cubeland, you can email me at . I'll edit out any names and post it for you....
I would like to go home now. 2hr 3min remain. 32 interactions.
I actually thought much the same thing with i heard John Yoo on NPR this morning especially the part where the diarist talkes about conflating the criminal justice system with the tribunal system - because the tribunal stystem does not have appeals and checks.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

I hate the new system. I hate the new system. I hate the new system. It takes twice as long to do everything and half the time the site is down. Why? Because the need more bandwith. lots more.

I was just on the phone with some woman for an hour. An hour. She insisted on keeping me on the line while she waited for an email to arrive. and then another and then another. turns out the whole ordeal was her fault - didn't keep her from blaming me though, she asked to speak to a supervisor. luckily for me, my supervisor seemed to hate her as much as i did.

Lunch is over and I would like to go home now. Also, it is extremely busy today and that makes me sad - because I can not update as often. Not to mention the fact the new system sucks.

So, Congressman Foley still also still sucks. Breaking news said that he interrupted at vote on the house floor to have cyber sex with at teen. It appears that he may have met up with one or more pages for sexual activity. Read the chats for yourself (not safe for work):
also, fox news had the incriminating emails and held the story and gop house leadership knew lots and said little. BUSTED. and Congressman Reynolds holds creepy press conference standing behind about 30 kids - he declined to dismiss the children when reporters wanted to ask adult questions about the scandal. Creepy Creepy

I was just on the phone with someone for another hour. Unlike the first hour long call, he was quite pleasant. I think it had to do with the fact that I knew that he wasn't our client but I was still staying with him trying to get him to someone that could help him. You would think that the company that he bought $500k in product from, would be able to find someone (anyone) to assist him. Instead, I had to get on the phone and bitch slap them around. Maybe he'll tip me.

On the upside, I'm seeing my financial advisor tonight - otherwise known as Jen :)

I would like to go home now. 40min remain. 40 interactions.

Click -

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Well, the systems migration did not go well. They were switching everyone from the 3 systems that we used to use to one all encompassing system that was supposed to do everything. Unfortunately, while they managed to move all user to the new system, they were unable to make the user information available to us through the new system. This means that we still have to look through the old 3 systems plus partially the new one to find user info/account activity. fantastic. on the up side, they are buying us lunch today. i look forward to my buffalo chicken sandwich and cheese fries.

Unfortunately, there will be no lunch until 1:30p for me. And I chose today to skip breakfast. dammit.

Sure it's 90 degrees outside, but it's still freezing in here.

I just had a tremendous urge for rye bread.

Crackberry strikes again- som crazy employees are suing over their addiction saying it has caused family problems, broken up relationships and generally decreased their quality of life.

I saw this heating up on friday - but I was in training all day and had no time to talk about it, but here we are - not getting nearly the call volumes that we were expecting, and thus I am left with the time to post. (why is "post" no spelled "poast" like "roast"?) Here goes.

What's with bombshell stories happening over the weekends? Last week it was the NIE, this weekend it was what has been termed "Foley-gate", "Predator-gate", "Page-gate" etc. Long story short. Republican congressman (50-ish) hits on/takes to dinner/has graphic sexual discussions with 16-17 year old congressional pages. A little bit longer - GOP House leadership, knew they had a problem on their hands and no one did anything for 1-5 years. Yeah. Congressman resigned and has no entered rehab (for alcohol - setting up an "alcohol made me do it" defense?) House dems have called for full and immediate investigation House republicans are dilly-dallying and the White House press sec called it nothing but a couple of "naughty emails." naughty emails? naughty emails with an underaged subordinate saying how hot the congressman thought he was. sketchy IMs where the good congressman presses a page on how he masturbates and comments on his "cute butt bouncing up and down." IMs asking the young pages to measure their penis size. Right, nothing but a couple of naughty emails. And the uproar from conservative religious organizations worried about the safety of children left in Congress' care? nothing.

No buffalo chicken and cheese fries. The phone number isn't working. I hope they don't get fast food, because I can't eat it.

My heater just gave out.

Lunch was delicious (quizno's) and now it's back to work. fortunately only 3.5 hours remain. 3.5 hours too many, but we'll take what we can get.

I hate when someone else in a different customer service department calls me up, cuts me off before I tell her I'm not the right person and then brings the caller over, and proceeds to make up shit about who I am. I hate that. Also, it got busy and I have not checked the news and it's making me an unhappy bear. And I want to go home.

I also hate when my coworkers skip out on what is supposed to be a hugely busy time for us. And I hate when they seem to coordinate their efforts - we'll be down by two people, or 30% tomorrow morning - thanks guys. I think I have to be a little late too.
Our boss, re: the news of two people being out - "It will be a rough start to the day, but we will get through it until we see your shining faces here."
that does not help, bossman.

Though, bossman and I just had an extended conversation about Novak's and other gay stuff. Seems like she's very in the know. Interesting. And I talked to a very angry caller, he lectured me for about eight minutes on why we should treat people better and the like. me <- rolls eyes "i'm sorry sir, there's really not anything i can do...."