Thursday, November 03, 2005

I know you all think I’m crazy, but when I arrived at work today, I took off my coat. Twenty-one minutes later I took off my suit jacket. I don’t know what to say, I was too warm. Who knows what item of clothing might be next.

I’d just like to point out that if I were still in college on this beautiful day with 80 degree weather and brilliant sunshine, I would be lounging around half-naked on the quad taking in the last rays of summer before winter. Instead, I am locked away in a warehouse, without even a window to see the sunshine that I’m missing … fully clothed and shivering.

Once again, I am nearly overcome by the temptation to throw things over my cube wall into the various cubes on the other side.

If you call me for information, don’t put me on hold to answer another phone call. Though, it is very nice to tell your wife (or mistress) that you love her, and it’s good that she already had lunch and that it was nice. I’m glad that I have been updated on your life. Now, I’m not irate with this particular caller because he was quite pleasant, inquired about my day and made small talk about the weather.

I think they just turned the air conditioner on. While this might be suitable for 80 degree weather in the summer, it is not acceptable in late fall even if the outside temperature does reach 80 degrees. It is especially obnoxious when the indoor temperature of the office is already akin to that of an icebox.

I’ve just constructed three different spreadsheets to track and analyze the data from the phone calls I’ve been taking. Included therein: calls per week, calls per hour, calls per day, calls per day and hour etc. I’m such a nerd.

The minutes are creeping by today. Three hours and 15 minutes remain. But tomorrow is Friday!

I think that I can actually feel the Red Bull coursing through my veins.

My boss was just escorted from the building. I thought that her last day was going to be Monday, but apparently she decided that she had had enough.

Shirts are not shirts in the corporate world. Shirts are blouses. As in, “I love that blouse that you’re wearing” and “I love that cami that you’re wearing, where did you get that, it’s so simple.” Oh, you mean this wife beater? I got it in a pack of six from Target.

I enjoy watching office politics play out, knowing that I am not part of them. I like to watch people jockey for position and attempt to ingratiate themselves with the boss, and attempt to be friendly with all of their coworkers. All the while, I know that they are not qualified to lead and only have a position of authority because management has no alternative and you have the most seniority—which does not mean you know how to do this job better than anyone else. All the while, I know that though you try to make jokes and be popular with the department, more than half think that you are a complete space cadet. I see that your attempts at insightful questions are little more than ploys to make you seem like you are “on top of things.” I love politics.

One hour and 25 minutes remain.


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