Friday, November 11, 2005

Good news! A roommate has been found. Ironically, her name is Jessica and she is coming back from Chile. She's a junior, so we'll have three juniors and two grads in the house.

I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce two new words into your vocabulary:
SLIRT - a slut who squirts
SLIZZARD - a lizzard slut
I hope you have enjoyed our vocab lesson for the day.

Let's talk about awkward driving moments. You're at a stoplight. You're making a left hand turn. The person across from you is making a lefthand turn. You both get the green light -- no arrow. Who goes first? I must have spent 45-60 seconds last night dancing with some other car, because we didn't know who should go first. Driving away from the situation, Ariela summed it up best, "I feel awkward." Me too, me too.

How glad am I that I'm not taking the GRE? But here's a shout out to everyone that is! Major props for going through with it. On a different note, here's a haiku from Andrew:

Jen Sparks
You and Angelina
It's going to happen

Thanks Andrew! And good luck on the GRE! You're the smartest guy I know!

As you all know, I hate Rachel Ray. I hate her most for her annoying acronyms and abbreviations that are supposed to make it faster for her to talk about ingredients. Common offenses include "sammie" for "sandwich" and egregiously, EVOO for "extra virgin olive oil." Ok, so these cute little words/abbreviations might potentially save time, except that she says things like "use some of that EVOO, that's extra virgin olive oil -- hehe (insert annoying laugh here)." EVERY DAMN SHOW! Ok, so I hate Rachel Ray, that much is clear. Apparently, on a recent show, she said something to the effect of "EVOO - ready to go -- hehe." Gah!! Now for a Rachel Ray-like recipe, compliments of my dad:

Open-faced Ham and Cheese
Slice several loaves of french (or similar) bread down the length
Pile 1/4 inch sliced ham on each piece
Pile shredded cheddar and mozzarella on top
Bake for seven minutes at 400 degrees

Really Rachel Ray, 30 minute meals are hard. I think I've now offered 4-5 recipes that can easily be completed in about 15 minutes. Go me.

How to Write a Political Poem
My favorite line is not included in this version, but it would be inserted after he talks about Al Gore, and the line is "Ohhhh see what I did? I called Al Gore a Republican. This must mean that my political sensibilities are more finely tuned than your own." Enjoy. I have a audio version of this, maybe when I figure out how to put that here, I'll put that here.


Isn't it a little bit scary that you can put bits of code on your website that log all sorts of interesting things about the people that visit? Like, country, state, city and ISP Like screen resolution, browser and server name. Like if this is your first visit, how many times you visited, how you got here . . . isn't the internet grand?

I've accidentally introduced my coworkers to the world of blogs. I've set up a blog that is ok for them to read. The World According to Jen It's not much, but I might update it once in a while. And beware, there will probably be quite a bit of replication from here, over there.

I just recieved a StudLife email edition news flash. I know I know, I still recieve StudLife (hangs head in shame)....anyway, apparently a cyclist was injured when he was struck by a bus. Yeah, I could see where the biker would come away injured. And this would be a tragedy if the bus had been driving recklessly endangering everyone around it, pedestrians, small animals, cyclists. But by all accounts, the cyclist ignored a red light, entered the intersection and proceeded to be struck by the oncoming bus. Which brings me to my point. If you are on a bike, and you want to be treated with respect, YOU MUST OBEY TRAFFIC LAWS. You cannot have it both ways. You cannot legitimately demand your space on the road, only to encounter a long line at a red light and meander between the cars to avoid the wait. You cannot legitimately demand your space on the road if you run stop signs. OBEY the law, and people with treat you with more respect. There is nothing worse than a whiney cyclist, or bumper sticker that says "Share the Road -- It's the Law." Guess what, that same law that gives you the right to the road, depends on your obeying the laws of the road. Ergo, stop at stoplights, and you won't get hurt.

That's right Greg, you just keep missing days, last half of shifts, first part of shifts, training days. The more you miss, the better I look. Not that we were ever on the same level, but still. Damn, you didn't get that job, oh well, I'm sure you'll continue looking for one, and hopefully you'll take it, and I will be the last one here. And they will have to take me on for longer. yes... yes!

Friday's are fucking slow. I've had 16 calls in nearly nearly 6.5 hours. That's 2.5 calls/hour or roughly 5 minutes/hour on the phone. Bored!

FDA Reports Reduced Risks with Condoms Really?!? Condoms reduce the risk of pregnancy and the transimission of STDs? Really?!?!? I had no idea.

They play music here on Friday's, just one song, sometime between 4:30-5pm because it's the weekend. It's bittersweet for us though, because we aren't done until 6pm, and when music is playing over the office intercom, it makes it really hard to hear the fucking caller.

My cubemate just got the cube next to me. He's moving. Woe. I will be the envy of Karen and Greg, who are the only ones still sharing a cube.


Anonymous Roko said...

Good luck to Andrew, and good luck to me too. And how about some more pictures of Tasty and Motor?

7:08 PM  
Blogger Ariela said...

holy crap! i miss you, roko! (oh, and uh, hi jen... but really i just wanted to say hi to roko... : P).... yeah, i felt pretty awkward. very reminiscent of the family guy where chris sprays perfume into this girl's eyes, and is like, "YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL! I'M SO AWKWARD!" anyway, that's all.

10:44 PM  

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