Tuesday, December 13, 2005

What was with all of the cops today? I saw at least two lurking about, running radar and two more had pulled someone over. It was like cop fun day or something, except it meant no fun for everyone else. Also, I completely failed to reset my alarm after it went off at 8am, and I didn’t wake up until 8:48am. Note: I usually leave my house at about 8:55am, so I was running a fair bit late today… which made the drive all the more stressful because I was speeding and there were fucking cops everywhere!

And yesterday, I topped out at 97 calls, that’s 26 calls more than my previous high. Six of my eight one-hour periods of calling had 10+ calls. I was hoarse when I got home. And who plays beer pong on a Monday night? We do.

Ok, after a cup of hot chocolate and some pop tarts, I feel much better. However, I fully intend to be in bed and asleep by midnight tonight.

“1” for existing accounts, “2” for new accounts. Why is this hard?!

Let’s talk about how confusing our parent company makes things for us. Ok, first, through their website, there is an ordering limit of 50 cards or $5000 whichever comes first. On the same page there this message:

“Ideal for employee rewards and incentives, as well as sales promotions for motivating and retaining customers and valued clients. Purchase up to 50 cards or up to $5,000 online ($3.95 per card) or purchase more than 50 cards/$5,000 by phone (1-800-555-5555).” (emphasis mine)

(That’s our phone number listed there by the way.) Now this message would be all well and good if a couple of things were true, ok, just one thing. We don’t have anything to do with gift cards! So, when a customer sees this little message telling them that they cannot order more than 50/$5000 online but they can purchase more by calling that number (our number), they call us. Imagine how annoyed they are when we tell them that we don’t actually have the gift card. Imagine how irritated I am when I take calls from these annoyed customers all the live long day. Why, why does this sentence exist? All they would have to add to save everyone heartache and heart break, is a few words. Such and such company, of which we are a parent company, does offer xyz product for businesses to purchase that would allow you to purchase more than 50. Oh, that was easy.

So, not only is there little message wildly misleading, it is also the only freaking number listed on the website so that when anyone has a problem with anything on the website they call us. This includes, problems with their orders, tracking an order, general questions about the products on the website. Things we cannot help the customer with! WE ARE NOT THE GIFT CARD DEPARTMENT! Stop transferring people/giving them our number and calling us the gift card department.

Moreover, when we do transfer them over to the customer service line that supports the website, we have to tell them to hit the pound sign three times to get out of the automated system. In other words, the number we have for gift card customer service is completely useless, if someone were to call it and not know to hit the pound sign. Why the hell is their customer service line automated? It tells them to enter their account number…what if they have a problem with an order, they don’t have the cards yet, so they don’t have a number to type in there, it’s maddening!

And I hate, I HATE, when corporate services, or platinum or gift card or whoever (it’s usually gift card folks that do it though) who call me and “have a caller on the line who wants to purchase x number of gift cards” and I have to explain that a) we don’t have the gift card and b) if they are not corporate, we can’t help them. Usually at this point, they cut me off and say something like “yes, but can I bring him/her over” because they haven’t listened to a word I’ve said and they just want to drop them like it’s hot, on to me, and make it my problem. To this I say NO! All the while I can hear that beep every so often in the background that alerts the caller/rep that they are being recorded. I love that beep, because with every beep, I am reminded that somewhere, someone is recording how incompetent that person is. Hopefully sometime, someone will listen to that tape AND FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR INCOMPETANT PEOPLE!

Because, really, how hard can it be? I mean, I do my job, and I know what the people at the other numbers that I have on my phone sheet do. In fact, I can look at maybe 85 or so numbers and tell you a little bit about what the people at that number do. I’m a fucking temp for heaven’s sake. You would think their full-time, permanent reps would be better trained. Here’s a hint folks, ask a few probing questions to determine what the caller really needs, and then they won’t be transferred around four or five times. And then they won’t yell at me, when I tell them that I have to transfer them one more time, and they have to trust me. But they don’t want to trust me, because incompetent people have been playing hot potato with them for hours. The real rub is that I can get them to the right place, and I want to, but as I said, they don’t want to trust me and demand that I do ridiculous things… like take their order myself. I can’t take your order sir, we don’t even have access to that system and it’s a different fucking company! AHHHHHH!!!

Here’s something else that I hate; callers that want impossible things. They wouldn’t have been impossible had they placed the order/called us earlier, but since they waited, we tell them no, and we get yelled at. Ex: Caller: “I need $10,000 of your product by Friday.” Me: um ….no.

We have all of our callers here today, minus Greg, and yet we are still trending towards more calls than yesterday.

Wow, I just beat the Expert level again, this time in under four minutes. That’s more times in two days that I’ve beaten that level in years.

4:21pmI am officially tired, and tired of being here.


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